Life is a war and in order to fight a war, we need to form a battle plan. The battle plan gives us the guidelines by which to make everyday decisions as well as long range goals. Each decision and goal leads us more and more toward our destiny. The first step in our battle plan is to work on our attitudes and motives. It is better to do the wrong things for the right reasons than do the right things for the wrong reasons. Once we have the right attitudes and motives, then we will be ready to make specific goals and directions.

                “I can’t never did nothing”[1] This was a statement used by my father all through my childhood. At first it was hard for me to understand the meaning of this statement, but after time, it became one of the guiding principles of my life. It is speaking of the “can do” type of attitude. He would tell me to do something and I would say, “I can’t” and proceed to give him all of the reasons it could not be done. He would simply say, “I can’t never did nothing”. What he was saying was that if I didn’t even try, I’d never accomplish anything. I had defeated myself before I even started.

What he wanted from me was to first try and even if I failed, at least I had tried. I also learned that if I tried and failed, I could learn from the experience and do better next time. (The surprising thing was that I found that I could do a lot more than I thought!) We are not a failure just because we fail the first time we try something. Failure is when we give up or we don’t even start because it seems too hard. The battle first has to take place in our mind and heart. If we are defeated in our heart, then we can never achieve victory. We must at least willing to try before we can succeed. If we fail, then we will learn our limitations and only then can we come up with a strategy to overcome those limitations.  Life is a constant learning process, making mistakes and growing in wisdom and knowledge. From our wisdom and knowledge we will gain courage and confidence. If we cease to learn, we cease to live.

Courage

                It takes courage to face hard times and not give up. It takes courage to do the right thing in the face of opposition. It takes courage to face the truth when we find our beliefs are incorrect. It takes courage to overcome our fears. Having courage does not mean we won’t have any fears, it just means we have faced our fears and have overcome them. We derive our courage from believing in the principles that we follow and that these principles are more important than our fears. 

                Two men can go into battle. One is excited and has no fear; the other is shaking in his boots but still goes to fight. Which one is the truly courageous man? The first man is fearless (or foolish) and thus needs no courage. The second man is torn apart by anticipation of danger, shaken to his core. This man has to deal with his immediate fear and the resulting struggle inside of himself. One part of him wants to give up and run away but another part of him knows he must stay and fight no matter what the cost. His commitment to principles for which he is fighting must be stronger than the power of his fear. Even though he is still afraid, it is his courage that enables him to go into battle. He is truly a courageous man, not the man who has no fear. (A man without fear will do stupid things and get other people killed along with himself)

                The man who can not overcome his fear and runs away from the battle is called a coward. He lets fear reign over his life, making him a slave to his fear. Even though he may live through the battle, he will have to face his fears again and again. This will happen until he finds the courage to face his fears and overcome them.

Taking risks

                There was a survey of senior citizens about what was their greatest regret in life. Most of them had the same basic regret. They regretted not taking enough risks in life. Isn’t it strange how we spend so much time and energy trying to make our lives secure so we don’t have to take risks. Yet taking risks is one of the most exciting and fulfilling parts of life.

                Fear is the greatest deterrent to taking risks. There are always the questions, what if we loose our business, what if we loose our money, what if we don’t make it, what will people think? Taking risks require faith and courage to overcome these fears and questions. Think of the pilgrims, the pioneers, the founding fathers, these people took theirs lives in their hands by taking risks. “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”[2] This statement made at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. We can see that our founding fathers were not acting philosophical when they signed it but were indeed risking their very lives to start a new country.

                There must be an evaluation of the risks against the value of the rewards. Just because an opportunity presents itself doesn’t mean it worth the risk. It may be a stupid thing to do to begin with. Or it may not be the right time or the right place to take action. Or we may be taking risks to do something that we don’t really want to do at all. I think of all the stupid things I did because someone else thought it was a good idea. I didn’t have the courage to think on my own or do what was wise. I found myself taking risks just to please other people. Once a person bet me I couldn’t stand up on the seat of my motorcycle and let go of the handlebars while going down the road. There was no money involved, just a challenge. I did it (pretty stupid) but at what risk? I could have crashed, been killed or maimed. I found that trying to impress people is generally not really worth the risk. There was no real satisfaction in living life for the foolish wishes of others. I alone must make the decision of which risks are worth it and which ones are not. If we find the risk is worth our goals, then we need to go for it. Yes, there are risks in life but without these risks; there can not be reward or the satisfaction of victory. Without the ability to fail we can never know success. We can’t let fear of failure rob us of the joy and happiness that always comes when we finally succeed.

                “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them”[3] Sometimes circumstances make us take risks we don’t necessarily want to take. There were two men who grew up together and went to the same church, same school, and were the competitive as friends. Both men graduated High School together but there was only one job opening at a local factory. The two men found themselves in competition for that single position. The first man got the job and kind of laughed about it. The second man was disappointed because he just wasn’t able to find work. The only thing he found was an opening for a missionary helper in Africa. Circumstances had left no other option for him. Disappointed by the situation, he headed off to Africa, not knowing what the future held. The first man continued at his steady job, secure in his positions and place. After 26 years the two men meet again and compared their lives. The missionary man said to the factory man, “Since I have left, I got married, become an ordained minister, lived in over 20 countries, and raised 5 children. I saw lives changed for the good and have seen miracles happen. I have had enough adventure to last two life times. Life has been thrilling and wonderful.” After 26 years on the job, all the factory man had were pictures of his 2 weeks vacations he took each year. His life was secure but dull. The missionary man had been disappointed at first with his situation but found his poor circumstances had been the best thing that ever happened to him. (This man is my personal hero and I pattern my life after)

                We must have the faith and courage to take action when faced with opportunities, good or bad. We don’t always know what the outcome of our situation might be. Without taking risks, there can be no gain. With great risk comes great reward. Our destiny always involves us taking a risk of some type. How much are we willing to risk in order to reach our destiny? That depends on how much we believe in our destiny.

                Let’s go back to my father’s saying of “I can’t never did nothing”. I learned to never say “I can’t” around him. But instead I would say “I’ll try”. But that still wasn’t good enough for him. “Don’t say ‘I’ll try’, say ‘I will’”. Sometimes there was just no pleasing him it seemed. What was the difference between “I’ll try” and “I will” anyway? It was just two different ways of saying the same thing I thought. I sure was wrong!

                The difference is the attitude with which we tackle our situation.  “I’ll try” has a half hearted sound to it. It also implies that there is an undetermined limit in how much time and effort will be applied to the project. It also implies that there is a limited amount of risk I was willing to take. “I’ll try and if it doesn’t work, well, I tried”. This leaves room for failure and excuses. “I will” has a definite commitment involved. It is saying I will get the job done no matter what the cost. There is a higher level of risk now because it has become matter of honor to live up to my word. This attitude is an excellent motivator and causes us to be far more resourceful and tenacious in everything we do. In other words, we don’t take “no” for an answer.

                We need to take an “I will” attitude toward finding and fulfilling life’s destiny. Most of life’s battles are won or lost in the heart before the first action is ever taken. We can look at a situation and we can be overwhelmed by the sheer size of what we are facing. We can get a “why even try” attitude and give up. This is where fear has overcome us and fear has won the battle. But when we say “I will” no matter what, we have now found the courage to overcome our fear. In ancient times, warriors always went into battle ready to die. If they were ready to die and loose everything, then fear no longer had a grip on them. If they were not afraid to loose so they were also not afraid take the risks necessary to win.

                The heart is the biggest battle field of life. This is where we need to say “I will” to what ever is necessary to accomplish our life’s goal. Excuses will not win the battles of life. Half hearted attempts don’t give satisfactory results. We need to do all things as if our life depended on it, because it does. But having the attitude of heart that say “no matter what” gives us the courage to overcome our fears and be successful in life.

Attributes

                Once our attitude is settled, we can start making the battle plan. We need to  make a list of our attributes, our strong  points. Everyone has special things about them that make them a unique individual. It is our unique attributes that make success in life possible. (Some people can describe these attributes as quarks or oddities but they are still what make us who we are.) What are your talents? Singing, speaking, a strong work ethic, good cook, artistic tendencies, work with animals, green thumb, sitting on the couch, sports (just kidding about sitting on the couch). Everyone has certain God given talents that are constructive and profitable. We must take these things that are within us and use them help us lay out a battle plan for our life.

                As we make a list our strong points, we should also make a list of things that we consider to be our limitations. This can be height, weight, intelligence, age, physical conditions, and such things that can make life harder or easier in some situations. I dislike listing limitations because limitations many times don’t really stop us. They often are nothing more of an obstacle to be overcome rather than a limitation.

                It could be considered a limitation if you wanted to become a ballet dancer and you weigh 300 lbs. Even though your weight could be considered a limitation, you could to lose 160 lbs in order to reach your personal goal. If you were able to loose the weight, you would appreciate being a ballet dancer much more than someone who is naturally thin. (You also would probably end up rich from writing books about loosing weight in order to follow after your dream. What an inspirational story that would be!)

                This is why I don’t like to take limitations too seriously. Age is another limitation that I think has very little bearing on life. I read about a woman in San Francisco that set the world’s record for the most mileage run by a human in a 5 day period. She was 77 years old and setting a world athletic record! Then we consider that Beethoven was deaf when he wrote his greatest works. Then there was the case of Joni Ericson, a girl who was paralyzed from the neck down by a diving accident. She went on to become a best selling author as well as an artist, painting with a paint brush using just her mouth. Limitations are not necessarily impossibilities, just obstacles to be overcome.

                We need use our strong points and limitations to find a basic direction for our life. Once we have come up with a direction, no matter how humble or trivial, it is time to start arranging our life toward achieving success. I know a woman, both a mother and a wife, who was good at cleaning toilets. She was so good at it, she made a business out of cleaning bathrooms. She soon expanded and started cleaning houses. Soon she had to hire help because she had so much business. She simply focused on what she could do well and combined it with integrity and service. She soon was making more money than her college educated husband. Humble beginnings can lead to great things

                The part that made her simple talent into a successful business was attitude. Even though she had a humble talent, she did it to the best of her ability. Our attitude is our greatest asset. Attitudes of honesty, integrity and service are very rare. Employers are all looking for employees that they have these qualities of character. We may sometimes wonder how some people ever got into positions of authority (not everyone, just certain idiots we have had to work for). Generally they got their position because they were found to be trustworthy and willing to carry out the mission they have placed before them. Not necessarily because they have great talent or special gifting. They are simply dependable and faithful at their job. Attitude is the one talent we can change about ourselves. It can take time, but the sooner we make a commitment to start changing our attitude, the sooner we will see results. (Don’t give up because it seems to be too big of a job.)

                The first step toward having a positive attitude is to have a grateful heart. “Is the glass half full or half empty?” Count what you do have instead of what you don’t have. Ungratefulness leads to greed, selfishness, then disappointment, sorrow and bitterness. Show me a bitter person and I’ll show you an ungrateful person. Show me a happy person and I’ll show you a person who is thankful and grateful. I am not talking about manners and polite words, but an attitude of heart. The ungrateful are always disappointed, frustrated and never happy with anything they have. This person is usually angry and upset about something, everyone dreads it when they come around. Nothing is ever good enough.

                But the grateful person is at peace within themselves and able to enjoy what they have. Those who are around them also have a good time. The grateful are quick to forgive and slow to anger. There are no bounds on those who are grateful. Life is full and satisfying. Everything is good.

                Gratefulness is the basis of a good attitude. From there all other attitudes fall into place. Qualities of integrity, honor, self control, generosity, joy, peace, love are all that go together to form a great attitude.

Setting Goals

                “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained. But happy is he who keeps the law.”[4] The “vision” it is speaking of here is not a spooky religious experience but setting goals for the future. A better way of saying this might be “without goals, you will have not direction in life, but those who follow through with their goals will be satisfied” (that’s my translation). It is our goals that give us guild lines from which to operate, as though aiming a gun. Just as we must aim a gun in order to hit a target, we must have “guidance” from our goals or we will never fulfill our destiny. If we find ourselves are moving in circles, it generally is because we do not have defined goals.

                “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.”[5] The first thing we need to do is create plans. There are three types of plans we should make, short term, intermediate and long term plans. We have many “minor destinies” along the way to our “major destiny”. It is by fulfilling the little things that prepares us for larger things. If we can not fulfill the short term plans, there is no way we can fulfill the long term plans.

Each step of our life is a building block toward the next step of our life. Everything should fit together in an orderly fashion. If we don’t have a plan, the steps or “building blocks” of life are chaotic and nothing but a waste of our time and effort. We must plan in such a way that each short term goal builds toward our long term goals. This is being focused or “aiming” our lives in a particular direction. Our short term goals lay a foundation for our intermediate goals. Our intermediate goals lay a foundation for our long term goals. The long term goals give us direction of how to plan our short term goals. Thus all of our goals are interdependent on each other. If my long term goal was to be an electrical engineer, I wouldn’t take 4 years of scuba lessons. Electrical engineers usually don’t need scuba lessons to help them do their job. (Someone, somewhere will probably prove me wrong on this example) But an electrical engineer needs to take math and science courses as a short range goals. The engineering degree itself would be an intermediate goal. The lone range goal would be the implementation of electrical engineering degree as a career.

                When someone runs a marathon, it is made up of a lot of steps. The longer and faster the steps, the sooner the race is over. The size and pace of the steps are determines by the runners natural abilities combined with the runner’s personal will and the physical conditioning. When we see a marathon, we take it for granted that the people running have prepared themselves to do the event. It is not a case of a person just walking by and saying, “Gee, I think I will run the marathon”, then run the race and come in first. The winner usually has spent years preparing for the race by training and diet. Accidentally winning doesn’t happen in a marathon and it doesn’t happen in life either. Many see rich and financially successful people and think they just accidentally became millionaires, like life was a lottery. We don’t stop and think that most of the rich earned it. (The few who didn’t earn it aren’t of any real concern to us.) They earned it by preparing themselves for their profession, taking risks and working hard to make those risks pay off.

                Nearly anyone can become a millionaire if that is their goal in life. But most people are not willing to pay the price of becoming a millionaire. The price is working very hard and sacrificing time and personal pleasure for their success. Most wealthy people I know work 70 to 80 hours a week. Most “non” wealthy people work 40 hours or less a week. The “non” wealthy seem to always be envious of the wealthy and wished they could be wealthy too. But are the “40” hour people willing to work “70” hours to become wealthy? Usually not.

                But if you really want to become rich, here is the way to become a millionaire. If you are just starting out in life, get a 40 hour a week job, even if it only pays minimum wage. Now go out and get a second job working an additional 40 hours a week and bank all the money you make at your second job while living on money from the first job. The money you put in the bank will accumulate and by the time you retire, you will be a millionaire!

                Most people are not willing to work the extra job for 45 years, which means they are not willing to pay the price of becoming a millionaire. Work is the only true way to be successful, not dreaming or wishing or envying or the lottery. It is good to remember that making lots money may be some peoples calling but by no means is it everyone’s calling in life. Making lots of money is usually not worth the sacrifices unless it is truly your life’s calling.

                The only true and lasting way out of poverty and despair is work. I wish to repeat that statement, the only way out of poverty is work. It is not government programs, charity, sympathy, or good intentions. Work is the only way to overcome the problems of life. We must work at investing in ourselves and having faith in our direction in life. No one is exempt from “working” through their difficulties. Even if we are wealthy, we can have problems with family, friends, physical and spiritual challenges that require work. All true relationships require work. The only way to deal with our problems is work and the sooner we accept that, the better. Quick fixes or semantics will not last.

 Teamwork

There is a tendency to think “if I only had a better job” or “a better education” or “more money” that life would be easier. Life is not easy and there are constant challenges. Changing our circumstances will not necessarily cure our problems. “You can take the boy out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the boy”[6] Our problems will always follow us until we face them and work them out. Our problems generally lie within us just as the “country” was in the boy. We may try to run away from our problems but they just follow us where ever we go. Being free from problems is something that just doesn’t happen. We must deal with our problems right where we are. Quite often we need help to overcome these challenges. We should not be afraid to ask for assistance as the need arises. We are all in this together. Team work is an excellent way to bring accountability to our struggle.

                Football is a good example of not just working toward goals but also the importance of teamwork. When two teams make it to the superbowl, they are not there by chance. They are there because they worked for it. They must first have the basic talent with which to work. Each individual on the team has to have a certain amount of physical ability to be able to play the game.

                Raw talent by its self is not really worth much more than no talent. The raw talent has to be trained, disciplined and refined then it can be used. There are plenty of talented individuals who never develop their abilities and ended up with nothing. Football players definitely have work hard and make sacrifices in order to be the best at what they do. They have to be motivated people.

                Then each individual is especially trained for one primary position on the team. This is where the coach comes in. The coach sees the talent of the players and directs them to the best positions for their talents. He may move the men from one position to another, making the team more effective. Once they are all in their positions, they learn to work together under the coach’s direction. They help one another be the best they can be by cooperating and encouraging each other. They want all of the other team members to be the best at what they do. There is no room for personal vendetta, prejudice or rebellion. There is only one goal, to be the best. “Winning is not a part time thing, it’s an all time thing.”[7]  Then they train together, learning and working, making each other the best they can be. If one loses, they all lose. If one wins, they all win. This requires short, intermediate and long range planning.

                The short range goal is the physical training. The intermediate goal is learning team work and doing the job. The long range goal is the superbowl. Each step is necessary for reach the next step. The overall goal is necessary to set the directions of each step. All is totally interdependent upon everything else in order for it all to work. When they all work together, not just physically but with all of their heart, then victory is that much closer.

                So it is in planning our destiny. We need the support of the others who are on our team. It could be our family, friends, employer, acquaintances, and those who we deal with each day. Without the support of all the people around us, we will find it very difficult to accomplish our destiny.

Planning our destiny

We need a general idea of what our destiny will be so we can start planning our short range goals. One of the keys to finding out your destiny is first figuring out what you like to do. Do you like to fix things, do you like to read, do you like to draw, do you like to cook, do you like to talk, do you like to argue? God puts these desires in our heart and these desires can help give us direction. There is purpose for everyone and it is a good purpose. God is not mean and does not call us to a destiny that we truly find loathsome and revolting. The desire of what we are called to do is already placed in our heart just as sure as we are born with a brain and the will to survive. So what is it that you desire to do? If you had a choice of anything and money wasn’t the object, what would you do (permeate vacation doesn’t count, it must be something constructive) Odds are your destiny has something to do with your built in desires.

Next consider what it would take to have this desire happen. Education, physical conditioning, work and practice or what ever else you may need. This is how we start setting goals. You may not necessarily end up doing what you first plan but you life has started moving. Just as it is much easier to steer a moving car than one which is setting still with the engine off. Our lives are a lot easier to direct when we are out doing things and moving forward. “Man plans his way but God directs his steps”[8] As we go through life, we find that our desires will change and also our destiny may change. Everything is for a time and place. When I was younger, I loved to travel, living a life of faith and pushing the limits. Now I tend to want to be more stable and teaching people, inspiring them to be all they can. I made a plan for my life and I didn’t always get to do what I wanted. Instead the Lord directed me and life has been more exciting and fulfilling than I expected, much better than what I had planned!

Let’s start with a simple plan that everyone can relate to, the goal of survival. The basic necessities for survival are food, clothing and shelter. Everything beyond this is luxury. We talk about poverty in the United States but in most parts of the world, our poor would be considered wealthy. We need to shed the luxury mentality of our society and look at the reality of life and what is really needed. Then we can start setting some proper goals.

                Let’s say we suddenly lost everything, family, friends, job, home, possessions and even our education. What would we do? This is the first step in short term goals, survival. We may start with just handouts and a homeless shelter or a church. There are many organizations that would love to help in a time of need. The thing to remember is that this is a starting point, not a destination. No one expects you to stay in this “needy” situation. I hear people complain about the minimum wage being to low to raise a family. Of course it is! It is just supposed to be a starting point from which to advance. Handouts are nothing more than a starting point from which to advance. It is everyone’s responsibility to help out in a time of need, but it is equally the responsibility for the recipient to advance out of their bad situation. The key to all advancement is work. There are those who have physical limitations and can not work for wages. There are still things that they can do besides sit around taking from others. It could be that their destiny is to spread love, joy, be a friend (which can be a lot of work). Even being a recipient of someone’s generosity can be work. Showing love and being grateful is something anyone can do (actually everyone needs to do this).

                Once we have our immediate needs met and we need something to advance toward. Let’s make our first goal being self sufficient as much as possible. What is it going to take for us to become self sufficient? Let’s consider two men came into the Salvation Army looking for help. They were given a place to stay and an opportunity to work. They started working on the same job together. When pay day came, one man put his money in the bank and started looking for a room to rent. He wanted to improve himself and advance out of his situation. The other man decided to celebrate his first paycheck, and went out on the town, drinking and having a good time. Which man do you think would eventually succeed in life?

                The first man had a goal, to accept responsibility for himself. He had some misfortune in his life but he wasn’t going to let that hold him down. He realized that to be independence would require responsibility on his part. If we can not be responsible, we can not be independent, and we will never be truly free. We want everyone to be like the first man, just needing a little help to get started. Unfortunately most people in dire circumstances are like the second man, just living for the moment. The second man is governed by desires instead of wisdom. If we help him out, we will just have to do it again. Ultimately, poverty usually comes from poor choices and wrong attitudes. It is a lack of proper goals and motivation which lead to the poor person’s continual downfall.
                Let’s study of the attitudes of these two men. The first man was thankful for his opportunity and did not take it for granted. He realized its value by doing the best he could with what he had. The second man was not grateful. He was only in it for the momentary pleasure or anything else he could he could get out of it. He did not regard the opportunity given him to have real value. If he fails take advantage of his opportunities, they become fewer and fewer. Ultimately those who fail to take advantage of their opportunities usually end up taking advantage of the people around them instead.

                Now that we have one short term goal, a job, let’s look at some other short term goals. We all need a base of operation, a home, a point of reference. A permanent place of address indicates stability and responsibility. It is a place where we can be ourselves, a sense of identity. It is from our home that we build relationships with friends and family. A home is the physical spring board to finding and fulfilling our life’s calling. A home is not an end in itself but a most needed and useful tool for life.

                A home and a stead job do go hand in hand. No matter how humble, there are jobs out there. There are many unemployed people that I have helped find jobs but they didn’t take them. They tell me one reason after another why they can’t take this job or don’t want to do that job. Sometimes I get the feeling they just don’t want a job. (Everyone wants to make money but no one wants to work!) They continue in their poverty even thought the opportunity is there. There must be a willingness to work even humble jobs in order to advance. Those who won’t work are living off the work of others. (When ever some gets something for nothing, someone gets nothing for something)

                The purpose of these simple goals of home and job are to get a foothold on life. You don’t even have to be homeless for this goal. You could be a high school graduate who is just starting out in life. It is the same principle. We don’t want to continually live off our parents. We want to become independent and free. But we start by setting goals of job and home.

                We now move on to intermediate goals. Let’s say that we now have a job and usually we don’t want to keep making minimum wage. In order to advance we have to get some type of education. My father always said to me, “You are not paid for what you do, you are paid for what you know”. Our education may be right for the job we are doing at the moment. But to advance, we need to be able to take on new responsibilities by increasing our skills through education. This education could be formal or informal on the job education. (I find that the informal on the job education is the most valuable education) When we gain new skills and knowledge that will make us more valuable to our employer. When we advance in position and responsibility, we will make more money.

                This also applies in an unemployment situation. I hear about people who are chronically unemployed. They have been out of a job for over 2 years and have just about given up. I think that if you find yourself unable to find work in your field after a few months, change fields! Don’t wait 2 years! There are a lot of businesses looking for hard working people and can’t find any. Look and find out where there is a shortage of workers and go for it. A lot of places are even willing to train you. Take the time to get as much education you need. Meanwhile if you do find a job in your original field, then you have expanded your knowledge while you were looking. More education can only expand your horizons and your opportunities in life. Over my lifetime I have been a paperboy, farmhand, worked in a grocery store, sheet metal worker in a factory, computer technician, wall paper hanger, salesman, mechanic, Snap-on Tool dealer, musician, pastor, martial arts instructor, owned 3 businesses and hustled a lot in between.

                We often have to do things we do not particularly like in order to move forward. These things may just be simply a step along the way and not necessarily our goal. Sacrificing what we want in order to move forward can be part of our destiny. We must have an attitude of thankfulness that we had a job at all. Having an attitude of “well, this job only pays minimum wage so I am not going to work very hard” is not a thankful attitude. This is the attitude of a person who will continue in poverty. We need to do the best job we can regardless of pay. As we show ourselves faithful, new and better opportunities will appear. But if we do not have the right attitudes, new opportunities will do us no good when they do come along.

                We have to use wisdom when laying plans and not become so heavenly minded that we are not earthly good. In other words, we should not dwell so much on the theoretical that we neglect the practical. Once this little 4 year old girl started telling me “my mom says I can be anything I want”. So I asked, “ What do you want to be?” She said “I want to be a daddy”. This was a case of the theoretical not being in touch with the practical. We are governed by several practical things that help shape our lives, things over which we have no control. These things are called our circumstances. Our circumstances are the bounds in which we operate. We have no control over where or when we were born. We have no control over our intelligence, or our talents. We have limited control over our likes and dislikes. We also have limited control over our appearance and health. In fact, we do not have control over 98% of what happens to us each day! The one thing we do have control over is the attitude of our heart and how we react to things. Let’s concentrate on that which we do have control over.

                Our lives are like open fields. We can plant what ever we want in our lives. If we plant good things in our lives, they soon come up as good fruit. Likewise if we plant bad things in our lives, they become bad fruit. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.”[9] Our lives are accumulation of what we have planted. As we plant correctly, we have developed a cycle of prosperity and good habits. If we plant foolishly, the results are poverty, hunger, and bad habits. Planting proper attitudes is the beginning of success in life. Without planting proper attitudes, no amount of physical success will ever bring happiness or fulfillment.

                Don’t get discouraged if after planting all the right things in our lives, bad things still keep coming up. What we may be reaping is the bad crop we planted previously. It takes time for the new crop to grow and mature. If we are faithful and patient, we will reap our new crop of good things. The key here is patience.

                We tend to give up when we don’t see instant results, not realizing our time table is not God’s time table. In our society everything is instant, microwave, instant coffee, fast food, cell phones & texting. But in the big scheme of things, time can be really slow. We go to school for 12 to 16 years and think we are educated and ready for a career that lasts 40 to 50 years. In God’s time table, He may spend 40 to 50 years getting you ready to use only a short time, but the consequences of that short time can be eternal. The thing to remember, we are not the judge of God or His plan. His plan always works for the good of everyone. The problem is when people ignore his plan and fail to carry out their destiny. Then everyone suffers when things go wrong and God gets blamed. God is good. God never lets us down. We just let ourselves and others down.

                That is why we need to be patient at what ever it is that we do, we do not know the outcome of our lives and efforts. I would venture to say most of us will never see the total results of our lives. Don’t give up, don’t be discouraged by what you do or don’t see, life is a walk of faith. “I planted, Apollos watered, but God causes the growth”[10] This just a way of saying that all of our efforts are intertwined with the efforts of others. You may work and someone else get the recognition. Then again you may get recognition (or blame) for something you really didn’t do. Who gets the recognition isn’t really important. I have seen careers ruined when someone’s feelings got hurt because they were not recognized for their efforts. This developed into a bad attitude which in turn started to affect their performance and eventually lead to the loss of their career. Make sure you don’t get side tracked from our true goals by vanity and pride of seeking recognition.

Authority

                Let us go back to the bumper sticker that said, “Question Authority”. I would like to ask the people who had that bumper sticker who gave them authority to question authority. Amazingly enough they probably couldn’t come up with a good answer. They liked the statement as long as it was not applied to them. I have found this actually to be a good statement “question authority”, to tell what is real and what is speculation. We should hold those in authority accountable for what they do and say. If they are real, they will always stand up to close scrutiny and will prove to be valid. It is up to us to separate real authority from the illusion of authority.

                A child brought a puppy to the first grade class for show and tell. The child held the puppy up to show the class and all of the children were captivated. Then the teacher asked the child if the puppy was a boy or a girl. The child didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl so the teacher asked if any of the other students knew how to tell if it was a boy or a girl. The class sat silent for about a minute when suddenly one little boy stuck his hand up and said “Lets vote on it”.

                This is the difference between opinion and fact. Facts always stand up to proper examination, therefore we should never be afraid when someone wants to check out our facts. As long as we have done our homework, we have nothing to fear from scrutiny. I hold a 5^th degree black belt in Taekwondo. If someone asks if I am a real black belt, there is one way to find out but it could be painful. I may need sometime to stand up to the examination about what I can do or what I know. I one time had a man who practiced a different style of martial art say to me “You do Taekwondo? I know how to beat you!” He didn’t know anything about me or what I can do. He made a broad generalization. He was not operating on fact but on false opinion. I just let it go, no need to prove who I am, I already know. If he wanted to pursue it, then we would find out who was real.

                We can plan and live our lives by that which has been shown to be true. This is why I use scripture and quotes from people who have succeeded in what ever they have done. Not only can we tell that what they have said is true but we can see the results of their actions. “So then, you shall know them by their fruits”.[11] Look at the end result of what people do, not just how good or how compassionate they sound at the moment.

                “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”[12] Intentions alone are not enough to justify doing something. We must always consider the repercussions of our actions. It would be like saying, “the plight of the poor is very bad, let’s give every poor person $100,000 so they can live a decent life”. This sounds nice but is not practical or realistic. The repercussions would be the fact that it would take more money than exists in the entire country to do this. It would require the confiscation of everything everyone owns to do this. And by what authority could something like this be done? But when you try to tell some people about the facts, they just call you greedy and uncaring. Such it is when opinion meets fact. Knowing and trusting authority and having your facts correct is essential in setting goals and laying out our battle plan of life.

                When we are able to understand life’s objectives and are able to fulfill our destiny, then we are truly free. People seldom fail because of circumstances; people fail because they are in bondage to bad opinions and habits that hinder any real growth needed in their lives. Only by wise strategy and action can we be prepared for the war of life.

Review

                We need to work on two areas in order to get ready for the war of life. First we need to work on our attitudes then we are ready to set our goals. Our attitude which is the strongest weapon we have. When we have a positive and good attitude, we will move forward and find fulfillment in what ever we do. This gives us the courage to overcome fear and to take the risks necessary to achieve our visions.

                We need to list our attributes and also our limitations. This will give us a good measure about setting our guidelines and goals. We need short term, intermediate term and long range goals. Long range goals set the direction of our lives, short term goals are the steps. We set our goals according to the circumstances we have to deal with. This is to be combined with an honest self evaluation based not on opinion but on solid and dependable principles and facts.

                Purposes and goals are not things that come about haphazardly, but require planning. “For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’”[13] There is always a cost and commitment to any plan we choose. We must first figure the cost of what we are undertaking. Are we willing to put forth the effort? Is our objective worth the effort? Then we will be ready for life’s battles.

[2] Benjamin Franklin, July 4, 1776, signing the Declaration of Independence

[3] Shakespeare

[4] Proverb 29:18

[5] Unknown

[6] Unknown

[7] Vince Lombardi

[8] Proverbs 16:9

[9] Galatians 6:7

[10] I Corinthians 3:6

[11] Matthew 7:20

[12] John Ray, English Proverb 1670

[13] Luke 14:28-30

                What is success? This is a difficult question to answer because succeeding does not make one a success and failing does not make one a failure. We all want to be successful but how can we truly measure success? One of the most popular methods to measure success is through monetary gain. Another measure of success is the receiving of honors and awards (winning). Then there is power and position. All of these are physical measures of success but do they really tell the whole story?

                True success is measured by the principles we choose to follow and our commitment to these principles. From our commitment to our principles come our attitudes and actions. These attitudes and actions bring about various physical results which all can see. We must first have good principles to guide us in our quest for success. Without good principles, all of our efforts are nothing but a waste of time and energy. Why should we exert ourselves for something that has little to no value? But even the best principles, without commitment to action are of no effect. Therefore our commitment to good principles must be all encompassing, permeating every aspect of what we do and think.

                The amount of commitment we have to our principles is revealed by our reaction to problems that invariably come with life. True success only comes by persevering through difficult times. Without problems to overcome, there can be no success. It is being faced with difficult challenges that can bring out the best and the worst in people. It is like a grape, we don’t know what’s in it until it is squeezed. Anyone can do well then things are easy. If we lacked the ability to stick to our principles when things get tough then we lacked true commitment to what we believe. It takes courage and determination to stand in the face of adversity and to overcome life’s challenges. Principles, courage and determination all go hand in hand, thus are dependent on each other to be effective.

                Having great commitment, courage and determination mixed with poor principles will result in a life without purpose. When choosing principles, we must realize not all principles are worthy of our time or sacrifice. The principles of love, honor, integrity and freedom are extremely valuable. The principles of money, pride, position or winning are not as important by contrast. Many have sacrificed their lives for the ideals in which they believed. Tragically some have wasted their lives pursuing foolish ideas that are without any true merit or value. How sad it would be to find that we wasted our lives pursuing false hopes and dreams. Therefore we must evaluate the principles by which we live to determine that their value is worthy of our life and effort.

“Let God be true and every man a liar”.[1]

Are our goals and purpose in life based in wisdom or foolishness? Do we just believe everything we hear or every convincing story? This can only be determined by examining everything in the light of truth. Anything we believe based on a false premise can never lead to success or true destiny. So many people spend time, money, and life pursuing false ideas because they simply didn’t check the facts behind their beliefs. Because they have so much invested in time and effort pursuing a false premises, they tend reject the truth even when confronted with facts. But what can be done for them? “See a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them”[2] Therefore we need to examine what we believe with an open mind, ever seeking the truth, not self justification.

Our principles usually come from people we admire. It can be our parents, family members, friends, heroes, villains, fictional characters. We do things just as they would do them because we want to be just like them. But we will never be “just like them” because each person is a unique individual with unique circumstances. What we can do is follow the principles of the people we admire. But these principles need to be based in fact, scrutinized with wisdom as well as seeing how they have stood through the test of time.

“Question Authority”[3]

“Question Authority” was the battle cry of the 60’s generation. At that time it was the slogan of rebellion against the establishment. Years later I saw an old Volkswagen with a bumper sticker on the back of it that said “Question Authority”. “What kind of hippy is driving that car” I thought. But as I thought about it, I soon realized “Questioning Authority” is not necessarily a statement of rebellion but a statement of knowing what is true. No authority is above questioning. True authority will always stand up under scrutiny and have nothing to fear from being examined closely. Any authorities that resist questioning usually have something to hide. There are a lot of “authorities” who are simply looking for fools to follow them and have some type of a self-interested goal. They work on principles of pride, power and gain, not love or generosity (unless it is for their benefit). Therefore examine every authority to see if they are true and right. Once we have found true authority, only then should we allow ourselves to follow the principles of that authority.

From the authority we choose to follow, we will either reap the reward of wisdom or suffer the pain of foolishness. Just because it something sounds good doesn’t make it the proper thing to do. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Good intentions can waste our time and effort and give us an illusion of meaningful life. We must look at the long-term consequences of our actions and what effects our actions will have on those around us to determine what is of true value. Do they build up or tear down those around us? Are they based in love and compassion or selfish ambition? Are they worth the cost of the effort we are putting into it? Everything we do has a cost and sacrifice. But is it worth it?

Sacrifice

                “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”[4] True greatness in life is built on personal sacrifice. The sacrifice of ourselves for the benefit of others is one of the most important principles we can follow. There is no real success without sacrifice.

The family is one of the best examples of success and sacrifice. Most parents would lay down their lives for their children, literally or figuratively. Even if we don’t literally die, we totally reorganize our lives for the purpose of raising our children. We spend our time and money for the children’s needs, never expecting anything in return (except maybe grandchildren) We sacrifice our future, our hopes, our dreams for our children, even though most parents would not consider it any sacrifice at all.

                What is the measure of a successful parent? Some think they would be a successful parent if their child turns out to be a doctor or great athlete or a scientist. Others think that they are a failure as a parent if their child turns out to be a criminal or an alcoholic or something to that effect. But is this a true measure of a success? Just because a child does well or has problems doesn’t mean we are a success or failure as a parent. We do the best we can and make sacrifices for our children because we love them and want the best for them. Yes, we are disappointed if they fail to follow good principles and take advantage of the opportunities we give them. But it is not necessarily a reflection on us as parents, one way or the other. There are many successful people who had terrible, neglectful parents. And there are many wonderful, loving parents with dreadful children. What would we say of the parents who had two children, one turns out great while the other turns out not so good? Think of President Carter’s parents, they had two sons, one Jimmy and the other Billy. What happened there? Can the parents take credit for one child and not the other? I don’t think so.

                We are only responsible for our actions and our children are responsible for their own actions. If we taught our children properly and provided properly for them, then they do have a much better chance of being successful in life. But this is no guarantee of successful child. The true measure of a successful parent is the sacrifice they make for their children, not how their children turned out.

We are all like parents in all the endeavors we undertake. Our principles are our “children” and we give of ourselves to nurture and grow the things in which we believe. We cannot measure our success by fleshly rewards or the actions of others.  We instead measure our success by the amount of personal sacrifice we are willing to give in order to achieve our goals.

Circumstances

                Circumstances can also be a determining factor to our level of success. For an adult to walk is no big deal, not much effort is involved. But when a one-year-old child starts taking their first steps, it is real big deal! Parents get excited, get out the camera, and call all of the relatives and friends. The child is successful, the parents are successful and all is right with the world. The child has overcome the obstacle of walking through courage and effort. Thus the greatness of the success is measured relative to the circumstance of the achievement.

We all enjoy stories about people overcoming obstacles. It is not necessarily the greatness of the occurrence but the personal triumph that people enjoy. True success always involves commitment, courage and sacrifice. In this circumstance, the child must sacrifice the security of crawling while overcoming the fear of falling. The child must be committed to keep trying even though they fail time after time. Only then can the child experience the success of walking.

                The object is to always put forth our best effort in what ever we do. It takes a conscience decision on our part to give our best effort. We first have to overcome our natural laziness. “Everyone wants to be rich but no one wants to work”. There is a cost to everything in life that is worthwhile but who is willing pay the price? True success always has a price; it begins with the sacrifice of will. The sacrifice of will is equally difficult for all people; rich or poor, smart and not so smart, high class or low class. Without sacrifice of will, we can never master ourselves or achieve our destiny. Sacrifice cannot be rationalized or theorized or visualized. It must be real. It is the giving up momentary desires and pleasures for the purpose of a higher goal. That is why so many do not find real success in life. They don’t want to sacrifice; they don’t want to give up their will. Their lack of sacrifice is revealed in the poor quality of life that they achieve.

Consistency

                 Consistency of performance (doing your best) is another major part of success. Most wealthy people did not get wealthy by hitting it big in the lottery or one big business deal or ripping people off. Most have gotten their wealth by being consistent and honest, making a little bit each day. Being consistence can seem mundane, but being consistent is the key to becoming successful and happy. Employers prefer mediocre employees who are consistent to great employees who are undependable. Consistency is the result of self-control, which is the sacrifice of will and personal desires for the higher purpose of success.

                I have both taught Martial Arts and have been the Pastor of a church. I have found that those who are not consistent in attendance in either venue are never successful. I have seen people with so much natural talent that took their talent for granted and didn’t try. They didn’t need to work as hard as others; they were naturally good on their own. They became lazy in their effort and inconsistent in their commitment. Then they soon faded away and were unsuccessful. Yet there were others who had very little natural talent but never gave up. They valued each accomplishment because it did not come easy. These that tried so hard went on to become the successful leaders of the future. Tenacity beats talent everyday of the week. This is true in every aspect of life. If we find we are not successful, we first must look at our consistency in our commitments before blaming our circumstances or others for our failures.

                Consistency is based in priority. What we deem important is what we do. We always show up for that which we consider important. If we say our family is important but spend all of our time at work, we are truly saying that work is more important than family. Where we spend our time tells what is important in our lives. If we don’t have time to study and learn but have time to watch TV, then learning is a lower priority than entertainment. Looking at our daily schedule tells us what our true priorities are. Once we know our true priorities, we will see how and what we have to change in order to become successful. These changes will require the sacrifice of will which can also be called also called self-control.

Self-control.

                The greatest thing single thing we can ever accomplish is controlling ourselves. “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city.”[5] To control our inner person is greater than acts of heroism, power and pride. It takes a major amount of effort to control ourselves consistently. We have to battle our emotions and desires everyday. It requires work and perseverance. It requires submission of will and self sacrifice. But if we can control ourselves then we can master anything!

                Having self control is not so much a matter of what we do but why we do it. Are we motivated by proper principles or our own self-interests? If we do things just to receive some personal gratification, then our personal desires are in control. If we do things because they because they are based in right principle, even if it causes us work, loss and pain, then we are truly exercising self-control. This is not to say we cannot have satisfaction in what we do. Satisfaction in a job well done is a byproduct of controlling ourselves and overcoming our own self will. If I want to enjoy being in good physical condition, I must overcome my body’s desire to be lazy. I must put make a commitment to exercise and eat properly. My body will object but I must overcome these personal desires to attain the higher goal of good health.

Emotions and desires are great followers but are terrible leaders. Our emotions and desires are some of the hardest things we will ever have to master. Emotions and desires are constantly battling against the principles of sacrifice and self-control. It is a war within ourselves we all must face everyday. We must win the battle and bring our emotions and desires under the control of proper principles and discipline. Don’t get me wrong, emotions and desires are important in bringing happiness to life. But they must be controlled. Without controlling our emotions and desires, we will never be truly free to master our destiny.

A baby is a good example of someone who is totally lead by emotions and desires. The child has no self-control and therefore needs restraint to protect them as well as protecting everything else from them. We put the child in a crib and the bars set a perimeter in which the baby can move safely. It could be said that we are denying this child its freedom. But since children will do foolish things, it is for their own best interest that such restraints placed on them thus curtailing their freedom. Often times the child will object to this treatment by crying and whining.

                Now let’s grow the child by a 20 or 30 years and say he has become an adult without self-control. He commits a crime and he ends up back behind bars again, still crying and whining. Even though the man is mature on the outside, he is still being lead by foolish emotions and desires. As a result, the lack of self-control causes a lack of freedom. This is why we have authorities to control those who have no self-control.

                By contrast, those who have self-control can live their entire lives without coming in contact with any law enforcement agency. Yet there are others that continually have trouble with police or authority figures in general. Those with self-control are free to live their lives as they wish. Conversely, those without self-control are constantly plagued with trouble of their own making. Those who lack self control will find they have problems with their job, their marriage, their friends, their family, the government, and their neighbors, anyone they come in contact with. They are constantly being constrained by others, not having satisfaction of self-determination. The amount of self-control we have ultimately determines our freedom we have in life. Always remember, if we fail to control ourselves, others will control us.

Friendship

                Here is another point of wisdom to help us to become successful. Proper choice of friends will help us develop proper character. There is an old saying “birds of a feather flock together”. The proper meaning of this saying is we become like the people we “flock” with. Want to be successful, hang around successful people, want a good marriage, hang around happily married people, want to be divorced, hang around divorced people, want to be an alcoholic, hang around people who drink, want to be a loser, hang around losers. If we want to be a person of honor and integrity, don’t hang around with liars and thieves. Want to be wise, don’t hang around with fools. Parents are always concerned about the friends that their children have. It is a valid concern. We may talk about “stranger danger” with our children but a poor choice of friends is the biggest danger our children will ever face.

We will become like our friends! “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm”[6] Carefully choose those with whom you spend your time. You will become like the people with whom you associate. (This is for adults as well as children) If we find that we have chosen foolish friends, we need leave them behind and look for better friends. This may sound a bit cold hearted to just abandon those we love. But we must be willing to sacrifice even our friends if they are ruining our life. There must be a wiliness to make a clean break with the past in order to grow strong future. If we truly love our friends, then we would want their lives to improve also. But we cannot help them by being as foolish as they are. After time when we become strong in wisdom and maturity, we might be able to come back and help them though not necessarily. Having proper friends is a major part of directing us toward being successful as well as making those around us successful.

Reproof

                 Reproof and criticism is essential for everyone. It is a necessary part of life but not especially nice or enjoyable. No one has all the answers nor does anyone do everything right all the time. We all need guidance and we all need to learn. One of the ways we learn is by reproof and criticism. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”[7] The point is we cannot improve ourselves if we do not recognize our problems. Because we cannot always see our own problems, others will have to see them for us. We are unable to see our own face but others can see our face easily. We need a mirror or a good friend to tell us if we have something wrong with our appearance. If we had food stuck in our teeth or something else gross, we would appreciate it if someone would tell us even though it is embarrassing. We also are blind to our back. We don’t always know what is going on behind us. (Sometimes we feel like we have a sign back there that says, “Kick me”) We need a true friend to help us see our blind spots.

But how do we respond to those who are trying to help us? “Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you, reprove a wise man and he will love you”[8] Do we respond like a scoffer or like a wise man? We need people to be open and honest with us. If we love those who tell us the truth, we are then truly wise. If we blow up when others try to help us, then we have closed the door of friendship and become a fool. When a person reaches a point when they can no longer be corrected or reproved, this person has become spiritually dead. They are inflexible and stiff. “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken”[9] We need to respond like the wise man and love those who offer advice or correction, even if it is badly stated or just plain wrong. The fact that they are speaking to us about a problem shows that they really care.

We should bear in mind that not all reproof is valid. Some are mistaken in their judgment. Others simply have foolish opinions. There are also those whose whole approach is to inflict pain and suffering. So how should we respond? First off, don’t shoot the messenger! Next is to evaluate what the person said. A good rule of thumb is that 90% of all criticism is baseless and should be disregarded, but 10% is valid. If the criticism is valid, then we need to respond, usually by changing in some way. This evaluation of criticism is also known as “eating chicken and spitting out the bone”. Take what is valuable and disregard the rest.

                There are several points to take into consideration when evaluating reproof and advice. We should be very leery of taking advice from those who is doing worse than we are. When I was first married, a coworker said to me, “If you need any advice on marriage, just ask me, I’m an expert, I’ve been married three times”. No thank you! If he did not have a happy marriage after three tries, he doesn’t have a clue about a good marriage. Our lives will become like the lives of those whose advice we follow. Should I take marriage advice from some who has been divorced 3 times or someone who is happily married after 30 or 40 years? A track record of consistent success is the best way to know who to believe and trust.

                Here are some more things to consider when someone gives us advice. What are the long-term effects as compared to the immediate results? How much effort is involved in relation to value of the results? Is it based on sound principles and personal opinion? Does it build us up or tear us down? We need to ask the tough questions; gather all the information we can. Knowledge is power when mixed with action. We need to carefully evaluate all advice given to us; the outcome of our future will depend on it.

                 What do we do if their criticism or advice is totally off base? “To err is human, to forgive divine.”[10] Even as we want others to overlook our mistakes, so we should overlook the mistakes of others. Too many good relationships have been ruined because someone took offense at a criticism. The proud have the hardest time with criticism, especially those in positions of authority. This is one place where humility is always in fashion. It is difficult enough for others to speak to us about our faults, allow them to speak without fear of retribution. Again, don’t shoot the messenger!

                What about when the person is simply trying to be hurtful and mean? Simply ignore them! This type of a person gets satisfaction from inflicting pain. If we let such insults ruin our attitude, then we have given fallen into their trap and given them power over us. But if we let offence go, (which is self-control in action) then we are again in control of the situation. When we fail to respond to their cruelty, they will give up and look for another victim to pick on. In other words, don’t let their problem become our problem! Stay free from anger and resentment. If we give in to anger and resentment, then we have lost control and will never become successful.

                What do we do when it is time for us to reprove or advise others? “For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God.”[11] We should first learn to listen to reproof before trying to set others straight. When we try to tell others how to live or do something, we need to be living examples of what we say. Our lives need to reflect the words we are speaking. If not, we are hypocrites. It would be like telling your children not to smoke while you are smoking. Or tell your children to be honest as we cheat on our taxes. We cannot tell people to forgive if we don’t forgive. We cannot ask people for mercy if we do not have mercy on others. We cannot expect others to treat us nice if we keep acting like a jerk. We must be living examples of what we say. “I rather see a sermon than hear one any day. I rather one go with me than merely point the way.” Actions always speak louder than words. Our words also must be chosen carefully so as not to offend. Our actions and words must match and always speak with love for those we are reproving or advising.

                “Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.”[12] Do we live lives such that we could say to someone, “be like me”? Could we say, “I hope you have a marriage as good as mine” or “work as hard as I do”? This is not meant to be a prideful statement but it should be a goal for which we should strive. We should live our lives with the idea that others are watching us, to see how we react to life’s situations. It is no good to talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk.

“People listen 10% to what you say, 30% to what you do, and 60% to what you are.” Yes, the “doing” is important when speaking to people, but “what you are” is an undeniable statement. Think of the way you would describe a person to someone else. You might say, “He’s really a nice guy” or “She is real sweet” or some other attribute. We don’t always remember what they said or even what they have done; but we remember what they are, honest, trustworthy, fair, the qualities of their character.

                It is therefore necessary for us to become what we wish others to become. These changes are not just to be outward changes but changes of the heart, changes of attitude. Everything we become always starts in our heart. We may be able to put on a front and go thought the motions of doing the right things, but the truth always comes out. If our heart is right, we will naturally do what is right. Conversely, if we find it hard doing the right thing, then our heart is the problem and needs correction.

                 Mastering ourselves is teaching our heart and holding rule over it. Many are ruled by their emotions much as the baby we talked about before. Emotions are an important part of life and have a proper place. But they should never be our leading force. Do not make major decisions when in an emotional state such as angry, depressed, disappointed, or in love. Let these things pass and get a clear head. It is amazing how many lives are destroyed because people made emotional decisions. Learning to control our emotions can be a long and arduous task, but there is no time like the present to start.

Measuring Success

                Money!  We can all relate to money. Money actually has far greater value in the spiritual sense than in the material sense. Our use of money will reveal our heart faster and more truthfully than almost any other method. What is your top priority from your financial point of view? “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”[13] How we use our money is a good indication of a successful heart thus a successful life.

                What is the first thing we do when we get paid? Responsible people usually pay their obligations and set aside some savings. But there are a lot of irresponsible people in the world. I used to work with people who would get paid and be broke within 24 hours. Right after they got paid, they would drink and gamble their money away and would be borrowing money the next day. I could never understand how, after working so hard, they could waste all their money for just a few hours of “fun”. The fact that they could not manage their money was only a symptom of a deeper problem. They could not manage themselves. They had no self-control. Their foolish use of money is a good indicator of where they were headed. They paid the price by having a hopeless life filled with alcohol and divorce, living a pointless existence. We can all recognize this type of foolish use of money and time.

                Being overly focused on money can also be just as pointless. Several years ago I was test-driving a car I had just repaired when I saw a young woman pushing a baby in a stroller down the side of the road. It was a beautiful spring day and temperature was just perfect. The young lady apparently had been pushing the stroller quite a while because the closest buildings were nearly a mile away. I figured at the rate she was walking (not very fast) it would take her at least an hour to get where she was going. “What a waist of time” I thought. I started to calculate how much money I could have made in that hour and how much time she was wasting. Then I had to stop and think. Had I become so consumed with time and money that I no longer had time to enjoy life? This young lady was giving this child she was pushing something that money couldn’t buy. She was taking her child out for an “adventure”. They were sharing love and enjoying the day together. Was this not far more important and valuable than mere money? I now felt foolish for thinking badly about her. She had spent her time wisely. She had memories of love that would last a lifetime and I all I had was a few dollars that was gone in a week. There needs to be a balance to our lives, being diligent but also smelling the flowers along the way. Failing to find a balance of work and play means failing to have a successful life.

Giving.

                How concerned are we about our money? If we spend too much time focusing and worrying about our money, we may find our money has become our master. We find ourselves living to serve our money. If we live to serve our money, then we are truly a failure! I remember hearing stories of people freezing to death while sleeping on mattresses full of money because they were afraid to spend it. But money is never an end in it’s self but is simply a tool. The only way to stay free from the grip of money is by giving. Giving truly sets us free, for when we give, we are being truly successful.

                The question now is what is the proper way to give? “Surplus wealth is a sacred trust which its possessor is bound to administer in his life time for the good of the community. Those who would administer wisely must indeed be wise, for one of the serious obstacles to the improvement of our race is indiscriminate charity”[14]. Wisdom is necessary in order to give effectively. We must consider the repercussions of what we do. To give foolishly is worse than not giving at all. When we find someone in need, we must consider what someone wants and what they really need can be two different things.

                The alcoholic wants us to buy them some wine because they think they really need it. What they need is to sober up. They need to have a change of lifestyle and start accepting responsibility for their life. There is always someone who thinks this sounds cruel and hard hearted to hold them responsible for their life but it is true. A person cannot amount to much without accepting responsibility. No one’s destiny is to be a homeless alcoholic. There has to be a change in the person’s outlook on life if they are going to be saved from this destructive behavior. Helping to change their heart is the true act of generosity. Throwing money at the problem is the worst thing to do. Don’t expect some government agency to take the responsibility for this man. Compassion cannot be legislated! We must become personally involvement with the one we wish to help. If we offer proper help and they refuse, that is their decision. Our obligation is to offer our services when needed.

It is our responsibility to check out those to whom ask us for help. I have a missionary friend, who was running an orphanage in a 3rd world country. He came back to the states for a visit and a stranger came up to him on the street and asked, “How’s the orphanage?” The missionary thanked him for his concern and then in puzzlement asked if they knew each other. The man said no. The missionary asked “how did you know about my orphanage if you don’t know me?” The man said, “We saw a presentation at church about of you and your orphanage. Your representative showed us movies and talked about your great work. We all gave generously to support what you were doing” The missionary answered, “I didn’t have anyone going to churches to collect support for my orphanage. Something is wrong here.” The missionary checked into this unusual story and found out that someone (whom he never found out) had obtained some movies of him and his orphanage. This unknown person was using these movies to raise money in a number of churches on the west coast. These churches had given thousands of dollars to some crook that was taking advantage of their generosity for a good cause. Always check out the legitimacy of those to whom you give. Be careful of those who use catch words such as “for the children”, or “save the environment” or “animal” causes. They may not be what they seem. Giving wisely is part of being a good giver.

                Giving needs to be a lot more than just monetary. I have a personal goal that everyone I meet is better off because I meet them and that they were glad they met me. This is a lofty goal and not easy to do. This doesn’t require any monetary sacrifice 99% of the time. Instead it requires me to give of myself by being friendly, honorable, kind and seeking the best for them more than myself.  Even though I have found this task almost impossible to do, it doesn’t mean not to try.  It could be considered part an attitude of thankfulness and part an attitude of honor. Regardless how we divide it, the giving of ourselves is a basic purpose of life. Everyone’s destiny is based on giving to others out of love and respect for them, not out of compulsion. If we will not give of ourselves for others, we will never find fulfillment in life or purpose on this earth. I don’t care how much money we make or how much power we have, if we cannot give of ourselves for others, we are a failure!  

                Even when we do what is right, people can get upset with us. We may even loose someone’s favorable opinion in order to achieve a better goal. I would make my children do their homework before they could go out and play. They would get real upset when they couldn’t go out with their friends after school. They considered me mean and cruel. They told me I was “forcing my ways down their throats!” “This is true! Now do your homework.” was my reply. My purpose was to develop their education; their purpose was to have fun. Having fun is great but only after their work is done. But there are those who cannot understand the concept of setting priorities. There must be a balance of both work and play to have a successful life.

                There are always disagreements over the proper method of helping someone. There is an old saying “give me a fish and I will eat today, teach me to fish and I will eat tomorrow.”[15]  And let me add, “Give me fish too many times and I’ll forget how to work altogether”. We must remember the goal is to help the person become self sufficient and productive, not just feed them. But there are those who will complain that it is unfair that this poor person should have to fish when others have plenty of fish to give him. Others will be upset about the plight of the fish or the impact on the environment. We just have to realize that we can’t make everyone happy. It may seem easier to just give a fish and avoid the problems of getting involved. But real giving involves courage and commitment to find a permanently solution for each situation. We cannot live in fear of what others think or let their opinion deter us from doing what we know is right.

                It is everyone’s purpose to succeed and prosper (not necessarily monetarily). Thus when we help people, we should expect them to succeed and prosper in some way. In other words, we must require a response from those we help. If we continue to allow them to remain in the same state of need, what good is our help? They are only surviving. We were created to be more than just survivors. It is foolish to waist our time and effort helping someone who doesn’t want to improve. Instead we need to motivate them toward a proper response. This can obligate us to spend a lot time and effort on our part in order to help someone. When they do respond and start to prosper, they should not feel obligated to pay us back. Instead tell them that they are now obligated to help someone else in need. Never let kindness end with us or with them. Kindness and generosity should always be ongoing and outward spreading.

                Getting involved in people’s lives is the best form of giving. Many will not accept charity but they will accept friendship and love. A person who is living through hard times may only need some love and understanding. Sometimes they many need some wisdom or reproof. Some of the most generous things ever given to me were simple words of wisdom (which I did not necessarily want to hear at the time). And it wasn’t just what was said but the attitude with which it was said. We must be always careful to always honor those whom we are helping. It is easy to get a superior type of attitude and look down on those we help. Saying things like “You stupid idiot, how did you get yourself into this mess?” is not a good way to help someone. Our help must never be demeaning or degrading to the recipient of our generosity. This is dishonoring and counter productive.

                Do we give because we truly want to help or because we want others to know how generous we are? Once there was a handicapped man in our church who had a big old Cadillac that was constantly breaking down. His car was in such bad shape it wasn’t worth repairing. I decided to help him out. I bought a nice looking Dodge that needed some work. I tuned it up, put in a new battery, rebuilt the transmission, fixed the A/C, put good tires and breaks on it, waxed it and added seat covers. It was a really nice, dependable and economical car when I got done with it. It got triple the gas mileage of his old Cadillac and the a/c blew cold. I gave it to him and hauled his old car to the junkyard. I was real proud of how generous I had been.

                To my amazement, he saw me in church a week later and loudly accused me for ripping him off! He said, “You took my Cadillac and you gave me a cheap little car. I thought you were my friend and you ripped me off”. (He was thinking that a Cadillac was worth a lot more than a Dodge, no matter the condition) I was hoping for a “thank you”. Instead I got accused and berated in front of my friends at church. Then I had to think, was I fixing this car for him just to hear him say thank you (the praise of others) or because it was the right thing to do? If it was the right thing to do, why should I care what he thinks? My disappointment was because I was looking for praise of men instead of being truly generous.

                “When you give alms, don not let your left hand know what you right hand is doing”[16] Secrecy in giving is important. It is natural for a person to want others to see what they are giving but it can also be embarrassing to the receiver. It diminishes the gift if the person we wanted to help has their feelings hurt by having their need made public. No one wants their personal short comings to be announced for everyone to hear. We must protect everyone’s dignity.

                Quantity of our giving is not as important as the sacrifice of our giving. “And He (Jesus) looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury, and He saw a certain poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than them all; for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.”[17] There are several things to notice in this story. First that Jesus didn’t run up and say to the widow, “you don’t need to give that money, you’re poor and probably need to keep those coins, the treasury has plenty”. But He let her give the coins because there is a part of a person’s spirit that needs to give.

                We need to be needed, no matter how small the amount. To deny her the ability to give would have robbed her one of the greatest blessings of life. The second thing to notice was the amount given is not important. It is the proportion of sacrifice that matters. There are times we may think the amount we have is too insignificant to give, remember the purpose here is sacrificial giving, not quantity of money.

                We can also give by letting others give to us. Let’s say our small child decides to make us breakfast. We would graciously eat our burnt toast and jellybeans. To refuse the child’s attempt to give would be traumatic to their little egos. People can be very sensitive about their giving. When someone offers their services we should consider it and not just dismiss it out of hand. It is often pride that says, “No thanks, I can do it myself.” We do not want to insult someone who is yearning to give. We must allow others to give to us, even if it is “2 small coins”. Allowing them to give to us can be us “giving” to them by allowing them to be part of our life. Being patient with them can be more important than we will ever know. Their giving may be a large step of faith for them, which is leading to character development. It would not be good to stand in the way of their efforts and deny them success of giving.

Urgent and Important

                There are two parts of life that constantly compete for our attention, the important and the urgent. The important things are the things that make life worthwhile. They are things like love, caring, enjoying, talking, relationships, marriage, children, saving, hoping. All of the things we know we need to do to have a full life. The urgent are those things that seem to come along in life and interrupt the important things. Things like auto repairs, sickness, time schedules, bills, social obligations, peer pressure, business obligations. These urgent things may not be as important in the big scheme of things but cannot wait to be done. Because the urgent has to be done immediately, the important things seem to get pushed back and eventually forgotten until it is too late. For example, it is important to save money but there are urgent bills. The bills must be paid but that leaves no money to save.

                In this case we must look for a way to either lower our bills or raise our income. Are there things we can eliminate from our life that waste our money? (Drinking, smoking, taking trips, recreation, eating out, unnecessary shopping, hobbies) Are there ways to raise our income? (Work harder; get a second job, sell something) We cannot continue letting the important parts of our life lose out to urgent needs.

                In the final analysis, our lives are the sum of what is important, not the sum of the urgent. Simply satisfying the urgent cannot bring fulfillment. The most important thing in life is love. Only love can bring true fulfillment. We need to do what ever it takes to see that we have time to share our love, especially with those closest to us. (We tend to take those closest to us for granted) Without love, there is no success, no reason to even have a destiny to fulfill.

Love

                Love is one of the most misused words in the English language. It is used to describe simple desires to erotic passion, to emotion, to charity. In ancient Greek there are 3 main words for love: eros, philio and agape. Eros is the love of emotion or lust. We derive the word “erotic” for this word. It is the romantic love we feel when we fall “in love”. Then there is philio, or brotherly love. It is the friendship type of love. Then there is agape which sometimes translated “charity” is. It means unconditional love or giving love.

                A person with Eros love is basically looking at you and saying “what can you do for me”. It is about taking what they can from you for their own desires. A person with philio love is looking at you and saying “scratch my back and I will scratch yours”. They just want an even exchange on the relationship. A person with Agape love is looking at you and saying “what can I do for you, no strings attached”. It is a giving type of relationship.

                I compare Agape love between a parent and child. Instead of this love being based on emotion or good works, it is based on integrity, honor and commitment from the heart. This is the best type of love to have for a good marriage. Your marriage can still have philio and Eros love along with agape love but agape love is the truest and longest lasting love. When our love is based on honor and integrity, our emotions come into subjection. This makes for very stable and happy relationships.

                Agape love is not just for marriage or children but it can happen anywhere, anytime, with anyone. It has universal application and always works. Even if we are with people we despise, it is a good to learn how to love and forgive them. We can even change people we dislike using the spiritual power of love (see chapter 6). A person who has mastered himself and is able to love no matter what, has true spiritual power.

                The word “love” used in the rest of this chapter is “agape love”. Think of it a giving; caring type of love, being more concerned with the needs of others instead of our own desires.

                “If I speak with the tongue of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.”[18] This means no matter how eloquently I can speak and write; if I do not have an attitude of love as my motivation, it is vain and useless. I may be perfectly charming but it is false if there is no love behind it.

                “And if I have the gift of prophesy and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”[19] Even if I could tell the future and understood all of the questions of life, even if I had telekinetic powers, it means nothing without love. Power without love is nothing more than wasted effort without purpose.

                “And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.”[20] Good works just for good works sake are false works. This is why indiscriminate charity does not work. We see starving children on TV and send in a check and think we have done a good work because we care. This is only “Eros” love; we do it just to make ourselves feel good. If we really cared, we would get on a plane, go where they are and start helping with their plight. True love gets involved for the purpose helping others, not to relieve emotional obligations. Agape love is an action type of love. Love is the motivation that produces real achievement in life. That is the true measure of success!

Summation

                Success is measured in sacrifice and overcoming life’s obstacles. We must always do our best regardless of the outcome. The sacrifice of our will for higher purposes is a good measure of success. Another measure of success are the spiritual qualities of our life. Things like integrity, honor, consistency, self-control. These are the things that will endure and benefit all who are around us.   

                Mastering ourselves is the greatest achievement we can accomplish. When we master ourselves, we are a blessing to all of those around us, if we don’t master ourselves; we are a drain on all of those around us. Emotions can be a great hindrance to self-control. Emotions are to be mastered and brought into submission to the principles of integrity, honor and love

                To grow in life, we need to be able to respond properly to reproof and criticism. We cannot “fix” problems in our lives if we don’t know they are wrong. Allow others to speak into our lives, blessing those who take the time to care about our welfare.

                Giving to others is what brings balance to our lives. We cannot be successful unless we can give without expecting some type of a reward. Kindness is to be passed on, not repaid.

                Do not allow the urgent to overtake the important. We need to arrange our life such that we have time for the important without neglecting the urgent.

                Love needs to be our motivator. No matter what we do, if we are not doing it out of a pure heart, our lives will be hollow and empty. Without love, we are nothing. When we have mastered ourselves so we can truly love, then we are truly successful.

[2] Proverbs 26:12

[3] Bumper sticker on an old VW from the 60’s

[4] Shakespeare, Twelfth-night, II, v, 159

[5] Proverbs 16:32

[6] Proverbs 13:20

[7] Proverbs 12:15

[8] Proverbs 9:8

[9] James Knox, 1978

[10] Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism, l. 325

[11] I Peter 4:17

[12] Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, vol. I, no. 217

[13] Matthew 6:21

[14] Andrew Carnegie

[15] Unknown

[16] Matthew 6:3

[17] Luke 21:1-4

[18] I Corinthians 13:1

[19] Ibid. 13:2

[20] Ibid. 13:3

                “What is my destiny?” is a question that has plagued mankind for centuries. In the military, I remember the 3 questions that were proposed during basic training. “Who am I, what am I doing here and where am I going?” These are good questions which each of us needs to ask ourselves. The answers to these questions can be profound yet so simple. For in them is the answer to the question “What is my destiny”.

                To establish a destiny, there must be a master plan. If life has no master plan or purpose, then there is no reason to pursue this subject any farther.  If life does have a master plan, it is the creation of God and not of man. If man did not create or design life, how can man determine his life’s destiny? For we did not create ourselves or “will” that we should be born. We did not choose our family or how we look or how intelligent we are. We had no control over the circumstances into which we were born. We have no control over 95% of everything that happens to us each day. The only thing we control is how we respond to what life has to offer. We have a hard enough time coping with these things as they happen. Various situations can lead us to ask “Why, God why?” We must understand that all of things belong to God whose ways are far beyond anything we can begin to comprehend. He is in control and has His plan for each individual life on this planet.  If God has a master plan for mankind then every person would be born according to His plan. There are no accidents! Each person would be gifted with everything they would need to accomplish the particular destiny for which they were created. But it is up to us to discover and implement our part in God’s master plan.

                What if we do not like the principle of being born for a reason not of our choosing? What if we don’t like the circumstances or feel that life is unfair? If we are born for a purpose not of our choosing, who are we to challenge God’s plan for our lives? We must accept God’s purpose and control before we can move forward in life’s purpose. What if we are called to a specific purpose and we choose not to accept it? Does God then create someone else to fulfill that part of the master plan which we were created to do?  No! We are unique individuals. No one else can do what you were created to do better than you.  If we are created for a specific purpose, and we refuse, then all of humanity suffers because our part of the plan is missing. If everyone was to do what he or she was created to do, then this would be a totally different world. I believe there would be no war, no famine, no disease, no hatred, no poverty and no crime. This would be result of the master plan for life that God had created.

                But because some do not do what they were born to do, the world is filled with pain and sorrow. Man was created to love and help one another. There is no one born to steal, kill or destroy, this only happens when someone refuses to comply with their destiny. People can reject their destiny for various reasons such as rebellion, fear of failure, disillusionment, pride, passing pleasure or an aversion for what they perceive as their destiny. We must come to the point we are willing to accept our destiny, no matter what. But we will find that fulfilling our destiny will always make us happy and give us peace in our heart. Destiny is not always easy and can have many have many trials and tribulations with it. But the outcome of our troubles will eventually be a blessing to everyone involved. So why do so many miss out on the joy and peace of life by failing to do what we were designed for?

                It is often preconceived ideas about what is good or what is important rob many of us calling. We see people like Mother Theresa and the great work she did. She was fulfilling what she was born to do. We think to ourselves: “I can never do that” and give up before we start. This is based on the preconceived idea that we have to sell all we have and move to the slums of India or go to work in a leper colony to find true purpose. This is not necessarily true. In fact, most people will find their destiny is located right where they are living.  God has placed us in the proper time and place to do what we need to do. If we need to be somewhere else, then He will move us.

The first step in discovering our destiny starts in our heart, not by running off to some far away place or suffering for some noble cause. It starts as a spiritual work of attitude. It starts with us accepting and dealing with life right where we are.  We may think that if we would go somewhere else and get away from it all, life would be easier. But there is a saying, “no matter where you go, there you are”. Which basically means no matter where we go; our problems come with us. We must face our problems and deal with them right where we are. And we will usually find root of our problems lay within us, not in our location or circumstance.  Then why waste time and money running all over the world when all we need to succeed is right where we are. Changing our circumstances with not necessarily change our heart. But changing our heart will always change our circumstances. With a new attitude of heart, we will be ready to move forward to the next step of life.

Obligations: Good and Bad

“A lot of people are looking for a job but few are looking for work”. We tend to look for the quick and easy way, avoiding obligations and work as much as possible. But it is these very obligations the shape and builds our character. Without obligations we have no way of truly developing into a mature person who is a strong, self-confident achiever. Think of our obligations as spiritual weights (which they are). Weights can do two things. They can weigh us down and hold us back or they can be used to exercise us and build us up. The difference is the amount of weight and the method in which it is used.

                At first we don’t want to use too much weight but just enough to work us to our limits without overstressing. As we live up to our obligations, we are building our spiritual muscles and develop our character. Just as exercise requires effort and self-discipline to make progress, obligations also require effort and self-discipline. As we carry out our obligations, it gives us great satisfaction and as well as peace to our heart. Show me a person without obligations and I’ll show you a miserable soul without direction or purpose. Their character is weak and they are a drain on all around them.

                But if our obligations become too heavy because we try to take on too much, we will not build any muscle or strength. Instead we will be worn out, overwhelmed and discouraged. We need to balance the amount of obligations with what we are capable of handling. But our tendency is to become over obligated, especially financially and time commitments. Therefore we need to live within our means in both time and money. In other words, we should not let our obligations get too great. If our obligations are too much to bear, then we need to adjust our obligations to level we can handle. This can be very humbling and we may disappoint a lot of people, especially those we care about. But the object is to become strong enough to handle each step of life right where we are. As we grow stronger, we can handle more obligations and help others along the way. Obligations and purpose go hand in hand.

                Obligations can take many forms. They are things like a spouse, children, job, church, friends, and payments. They are not alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, and other vices. A good, healthy obligation is something we do for the benefit of others as well as ourselves. Good obligations are never destructive but always building. Vices are things that waste our time and money while destroying our lives. There are enough problems in life without vices holding us down. In fact I think the word vice (vise) is a perfect word to describe what these destructive things do to us. The clamp or trap us so we cannot move or be effective in our endeavors.

                There are many highly successful people, according to society standards, that were strapped down and made totally miserable by their vices. Vices are like cancer. Cancer takes the victim’s strength and energy and gives nothing in return. Cancer can eventually kill the person if it is not treated properly. It is the same with vices. Just as cancer must be totally removed to have a healthy body, so must vices be totally be removed to have a healthy life. Oh but we enjoy our vices so much! These vices can become so much a part of our life that we find it impossible to let them go. Just as the body does not want to let go of malignant cancer, we do not want to let go of things that will eventually kill our spirit. If we can not overcome these vices on our own, we should ask for help to be set free. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

The worst vices of all are not bad physical habits but spiritual attitudes of heart. An attitude adjustment is the best way to start overcome physical vices. If we do become free of our vices without changing our attitude, we will just fall into another type of vice.

We must also evaluate how things we do are affect those around us. Are we wasting our lives on things that destroy and hurt others as well as ourselves? Or are we working with those things that build and heal? (This includes the words we speak.) Our destiny is always based on building and healing, not hurting and destroying. Our obligations go a long way in satisfying our destiny.

Standing and Fighting

                Obligations always have a cost. We will encounter many obstacles and trials as we try to honor our commitment to our obligations. We can get tired and weak from the constant battle. But “Without the ability to lose, there is no ability to win” nothing that has value comes without a struggle. There comes a time when we must ask ourselves “Is the struggle worth it?” Sometimes we need to stand and fight for what we have planned and committed to. But there are times when we need to let go and walk away. The trick is to know which reaction is the wisest thing to do.

General H. Norman Schwarzkopf is a good example of when to stand and fight. After graduating from West Point, he found the reality of army life totally different than the ideals he had been taught in regard to honor and duty to country. He found he had to deal with drunkenness and incompetence all around him. People didn’t care about doing a good job, didn’t care about others, and didn’t care about the country he so dearly loved. Being frustrated and disillusioned, he was ready to quit. Major Tom Whelan challenged Schwarzkopf with these words of wisdom. “There are two ways to approach it (ideals Vs reality); Number one is to get out. Number two is to stick around and someday, when you have more rank, fix the problem. But don’t forget, if you get out, the bad guys win.”[1] Gen. Schwarzkopf didn’t want the bad guys to win. He stuck it out and when he had gotten enough power, he changed things. The rest is history, an extremely efficient army that won one of the most one-sided victories in modern times.

                There are those who would tear down the values we hold dear. It is up to us to get involved and fight for what is right. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”.[2] We have a duty to stand against decay and degradation of our values. Things we believe in are only valuable when we will take action to preserve them. If we do not care enough to take action, then they really didn’t have any true value to us any way. Actions determine value.

                It is easy to get disillusioned with things you love and feel passionate about when they don’t work the way you want them to. You can get involved with an organization such as the military, a church, school, job, friends, family, and find that the your ideals are not respected by others. There always seems to be pressure to not make trouble but just go along with the status quo. Would you want to be labeled an agitator and instigator? Are you willing to endure public scorn, or risk your job, friends, family or even your life for your principles? There is always a price to be paid for standing up for what is right. But we cannot be successful if we are not willing to pay the price of taking a stand. Is what we believe in worth our time and trouble? If so, take a stand!

                There are basically two types of people in the world today, thermostat people and thermometer people. Thermometer people test the waters and adjust themselves to what everyone else around them is doing. The most they ever do is complain about how bad things are and never do anything about it. Like complaining about politicians but never voting. They say their vote doesn’t really make any difference but neither will complaining without action, so why are they complaining? Usually it is just to generate sympathy, not really to fix the situation. Always remember, complaining without action never accomplished anything except to ruin the attitudes of others.

                 Thermostat people test the waters, decide they don’t like it and change the temperature. When the temperature of water is changed, there is always turbulence and resistance to that change. It will take time and energy to make a change. We must become obligated to change things and have the tenacity to see it through. We cannot be thermostatic people by insulating ourselves from the water we don’t like. We must be involved in life to make a difference. We lead by making judgment of right and wrong, then taking a stand for what it right. It does have a cost; it will cost us friends, family, money, time, freedom, hope, sleep, or even our life. But there is often no alternative. If we fail to take control of the waters of life, then we will be controlled. There are times to stand and fight, no matter how long it takes or how much it costs.

Walking Away and Forgiving

                The pilgrims came to America in 1620. They had left England because the Church of England would not let them worship freely. The authorities persecuted them and there was constant pressure to compromise what they held to be true. Drastic action was needed, the principles they believed in demanded they make some type of a response. They decided not to fight the church but instead to forgive and walk (or sail) away. They left behind homes, friends, careers, and their heritage, all for the freedom to worship. They came to America crammed together on a small ship called the Mayflower. They arrived, perhaps foolishly, not really knowing how they were going to live. They risked everything they had and many died the first year they were here. There were no government programs, health care, grocery stores. Their money was of no use. They had expected supply ships to bring them food but the ships didn’t show up. Needless to say, things did not go as planned.

                They had literally spent their lives for the principles in which they believed. They could have stayed home and lived a “normal” life by compromising their principles with the principles of the Church of England. It may have seemed so foolish to leave their homes, friends, family, and security behind to go to an unknown land. But to the Pilgrims, some things were worth more than homes, friends, family, and security. The principle of worshipping God freely was worth more than life itself. (We are even facing this problem again today) They were literally dying for what they believed in. Then a miracle happened for them after nearly dying out. An Indian arrived in their settlement that knew how to speak English! He along with other Indians taught them how to farm the land and to hunt. If not for the Indians, they would all have died. Because of this Indian who spoke English showing up (divine intervention of God’s plan), they had the first Thanksgiving.

                Their courage and commitment to their principles had set the attitude from which our country would develop. An attitude that freedom was worth more than life. The concept of the freedom sought by the Pilgrims that spread through out the colonies. It was these principles of freedom that were the main influence on the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution. The principles of freedom would not only build this country but is now spreading through out the world. Billions of people have now been affected by the idea Pilgrims considered a noble purpose. Thus they had fulfilled a powerful destiny. The amazing thing is the pilgrims had no idea what the effect of their actions would ultimately have on the rest of the world and history.

Exchanging life

                What is life worth? The clock is running and we only have so much time, how shall we spend it? Decisions, decisions, what shall we do? But how many times do we let others decide for us what we should be doing. “My family has always been………”  “My friends all thought it would be a good idea to………” and worst of all, “they say you should……….” Who is “they” anyway? I am surprised by how many people do what they do because someone else thought it would be a good idea. I know because I let my family and friends plan my life and I paid dearly for it. I worked from 6^th grade through high school doing farm work and bailing hay for 75 cents an hour. Then I worked the late shift at the local drive-in and also worked at a grocery store for $1.25. By the time I finished high school, I had almost $4000 in the bank (1968 dollars). “They say you need to go to college to be successful.” All right, I went off to college and paid my own way, no scholarships or anything. The only problem was, I was 18 years old and had no idea what I wanted to be! “They say engineering is good to get into” so I went off to study to become an engineer. Not coming from a wealthy family, I had to work both in a lawnmower shop and the school cafeteria to help stretch my money. Soon I started loosing interest in engineering, I was having problems with some of my professors and other things started capturing my interest. I dropped out of school, all of my money gone and decided to just ride around on my motorcycle and have a good time. After all, it was 1969, the summer of love. (If I remember right, that was what they called 1969. But then again they say if you can remember the 60’s, you weren’t really there!) I had no direction and no future, just existing day to day. I didn’t care about tomorrow, just living for the moment.

                A friend of mine from high school came home on leave from the Marines. He asked me what I was doing with myself. “Nothing” was my reply. (Doing nothing is always a bad answer) He said “Join the Marines; let them make a man of you”. I had no idea of what I wanted to be so I thought I would join the military and let the military decide what I should do with my life. (Not really a bad idea if you are a young person starting out)  I went down to the Marine recruiters with my friend to join the Marines. I had just got the paper work started when my friend’s leave had ended and he left. The very next day another friend of mine from the Navy came home on leave.

                First thing I said to him was “Guess what, I’m joining the Marines! (Wrong thing to say to Navy man).” “You don’t want to join the Marines, you want to join the Navy!” he said. I said “OK” and went and picked up all the paper work from the Marine recruiters office and went across the hall to the Navy recruiter’s office. I took my physical and was all set to be sworn in the following week. My friend went back to the navy and a third friend who was in the Air Force came home on leave two days later.

                “Guess what, I’m joining the Navy!” I told him. “You don’t want to join the Navy, you want to join the Air Force!” he told me. Since I had not been sworn in, I picked up all my paper work from the Navy recruiter and went down stairs to the Air Force recruiter, took the tests and ended up in the Air Force! I let other people run my life because I always figured they were smarter and knew better than me what I should be doing.

                I went into basic training in fairly good physical condition. They gave me 3 good meals a day and a bed with sheets to sleep on. (I had been living on my motorcycle and sleeping on floors and scrounging food, so basic training was great) The physical end was easy so I was happy with my circumstance. But then I started hearing others complain about how bad everything was. They couldn’t handle the pressure. Several in my basic training group were giving up and trying to get out. One day the man next to me through himself on the ground and refused to move! I don’t know what ever happened to him, they just took him away in an ambulance. I was laughing at them all inside and thinking “what a bunch of wimps!” But as time went by, I found that I was starting to develop the same attitude they had. I started hating everything and started looking for ways to get out. (Believe me, basic training in the Air Force at that time was a cakewalk, the boy scouts was harder!)

After basic training, I was on my way to my Tech School when suddenly I realized what was happening to me. I had let the bad attitudes of others ruin what started out as a good time. I had it good. I was on my way to one of the most exclusive schools in the military. I was going to be stationed on the gulf coast for the next year which is where I wanted to be stationed. Everything was going right and yet my attitude was ruining my ability to enjoy my good fortune. I decided then and there I would no longer let others run my life. I would not let their bad attitudes control me. If they have a problem, it doesn’t have to become my problem. I spent the next year in Biloxi, Mississippi and had a GREAT time! Everyone else complained about how bad it was but that was their problem. I was not going to let it become my problem.

                I lived through this time of letting others plan my future but it cost me all my money and nearly 3 years of my life. The worst part was not the circumstances that took my time and money but the fact that I let others shape my attitudes. The one good thing we can do with our mistakes is learn from them. If we fail to learn from our mistakes, then they truly are mistakes. If we make mistakes and learn from them then they are no longer mistakes but a costly education. We may have to live with the consequences of our actions but let us not forget what we have learned from those consequences.

                The consequences can be way beyond the value of the lesson. “Don’t drink and drive” is one lesson no one wants to learn the hard way. It can involve someone dying or being maimed for life. Statistically it is the innocent victim who gets killed and not the drunk driver. I personally knew of a case where the man was so drunk, he couldn’t start his car. So some of his friends started his car for him and sent him home. He crashed into another car, killing a mother and child but he barely got hurt. A lesson was learned but was it worth the cost? Yet people are still drinking and driving. Unfortunately it usually is after tragedy has struck that people start to learn. It is far better to learn from the mistakes of others so we don’t have to live with similar consequences.

Responsibility

                We alone are responsible for our actions, not our families and friends. If we let others run our lives, we pay the price for their decisions. So how much do we listen to those around us? After all, some people do possess the wisdom that we need. The best test is to look at their life and decide if I want to be like them, to make them my hero. Remember; never take advice from someone doing worse than you. It is our responsibility to set our own goals for we alone will bear the results for our actions. When we bear the results of our decisions, we learn wisdom. If we miss our destiny and end up with a disappointing life, there is no one to blame but ourselves. There is no person on the face of the earth who can hold us back from our chosen destiny. There is only us and our attitudes of heart to block our way.

Fear

                “A life lived in fear is a live half lived”

                Fear can keep us from finding our destiny. “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”[3] and how true it is! Fear is one of the greatest enemies we can face in life. Fear is the exact opposite of faith. Faith is essential to the foundation of a successful life and fear is the destroyer of that foundation. A person living in fear will never step out to try anything new. Living in fear makes life agonizing and dismal. Fear can make us blind to our future, without the courage to face new opportunities. Even if we know our destiny, fear will stop us from pursuing it. People develop all types of phobias, which are based in fear. Fear of flying, fear of spiders, fear of heights, fear of water, fear of failure, being afraid to change or to face the future. These are destructive fears and they are a type of vices which are as strong as hard drugs. It leaves us spiritually paralyzed, consuming our lives, unable to do anything.

                Courage, on the other hand, is not the absence of fear but the ability to overcome fear. A person without fear is a person who will do foolish things. Fear makes us be cautious and thus we will use wisdom because we “fear” the consequences if we are wrong. But without taking risks, we can never experience success.

                Now there are some healthy fears. We fear jumping off cliffs and rooftops because of injury. We fear driving excessively fast because of accidents. We fear strangers around our children. These are good fears and should be part of common sense, which we will call wisdom. “The prudent sees the danger and hides himself, but the naive go on and suffer for it.”[4]  There are some things so stupid we should automatically know not to try them. (Yet some do and end up on the 6 o’clock news) The problem is when we start putting everything into the category of “that’s a stupid thing to do” when it may be exactly the perfect thing to do. To live life involves courage. It is a fine line between stupidity and courage. The difference can be determined by a person’s motivation. Are our actions based in pride and foolishness or are they based in knowledge and wisdom? Lets examine a man whose destiny seems courageous to us yet seemed sheer stupidity to his contemporaries.

                Christopher Columbus was a man of vision and a risk taker. He was thought mad and a fool by many of his day. To sail off in three little ships into the unknown was sheer stupidity! “As everyone knows, you’ll just fall off the end of the world and you will all die!” Don’t be fooled by the “everyone knows” mentality of giving up before things are examined. Columbus was not going into this blindly, he had done his homework. There had been theories that the earth was round going back to ancient times. Columbus and his brother, who was a chart maker, had theorized that the earth was round and that if they sailed west from Spain, they would find India or China. Even after several financial backers had turned Columbus down, he did not give up his “crazy” idea. He persisted with his plan until he found King Ferdunand of Castilles who decided to back the venture. Even though conventional wisdom had shown how foolish such a venture was, the naysayers hadn’t examined the facts. They just went along with what everyone had always said. “Lets just do it the way it has always been done it, no need to change or take a risk”. But Columbus had faith in his idea and would not be deterred. He was a man who saw opportunity and moved on his beliefs. Where would we be today if he had taken the “safe” course?

                One way of overcoming fear is by knowledge. We must have faith in our knowledge if we are going to act on what we know. We do not blindly just jump into things but use wisdom with our knowledge then proceed. Knowledge and wisdom combined with courage brings success. We need the courage, like Columbus, to overcome our fears.

                The fearful person is like a blind person, unable or unwilling to see (usually the latter). There is no joy or happiness for a fearful person, just disappointment and sorrow. Fear robs them of their strength, will, and purpose. They will eventually get to a point where they cannot be convinced even by facts. It is no longer an intellectual problem but a heart problem.

We all have fears and must learn to master these fears. No one else can do it for us. We can’t run away or ignore fear. We must face our fears and deal with them one by one. But how do we overcome these fears? By faith! “But the righteous man shall live by faith”[5] Faith is an attitude that no matter what happens, everything will be all right. God is greater than my fears. God is the person with the master plan and He will accomplish His work in my life. Even if we don’t understand how He can do it, we need to have faith that He will. After all, if He had enough power to create the universe, wouldn’t he have enough power to accomplish His will in my life? This is the basis of the faith that overcomes fear, the faith that God is greater than anything we will face and He will help us.

                Now this is not to say that you are a failure if you find yourself afraid or scared in various situations. The object is to not let fear rule your life. There is an old saying “A life lived in fear is a life half lived”. No one wants to go through life living in the shadow of fear. Fear may be there but we do not have to fear it.

No matter how well we prepare, there are going to be unexpected things that will scare us. We are all tempted with fear and there is nothing wrong with being tempted. The problem is when we give in to the temptation to be afraid. Fear is an emotion that can be controlled. We must fight against our fears and muster the courage overcome them. When we give in to our fears, that fear then controls us. If we are afraid of what a person will think about us, then that person is in control of us. “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.”[6] Do we want the opinions of others to control our life and we simply do what they want? No matter how hard you try, you can not make everyone happy. We can never be free as long as we live in fear of others because we are under obligation to that fear. This is a destructive obligation

                Each time we give into fear, that fear becomes stronger. But each time we overcome our fear, it becomes weaker. As we weaken fear, we become better at overcoming it. The strength to overcome our fear goes back to faith in God. Always remember: He will accomplish His purposes in the life of those who trust in Him. He started it and He will finish it.

                Now we are ready to identify our fears and set out a battle plan to defeat them. Don’t try to take on all of your fears at once or you may become frustrated. Fears are like obligations, just deal with as much as you can handle for now. You will get stronger as you overcome each fear and soon you will be free to live life to it’s fullest. Ask God for help. Work on it, a little here, a little there and suddenly one day you’ll discover courage and faith you never knew you had.

Start with little fears. Be humble enough to ask for help when you need it. There is nothing worse than living in fear but being too proud to admit it. After you have victory in little things, move on to bigger things. Don’t give up if you have a setback (this is just starts the fear cycle again) but keep on fighting. Tough times don’t last, tough people do. There is nothing in life that cannot be overcome. Faith and tenacity are the keys to victory. Don’t give up, you can win!

Preconceived Ideas

                Preconceived ideas can also keep us from finding our destiny. It seems we always want to start at the top. No one wants to start at the bottom yet that’s the normal stating point. I found myself humbled by a need for a job arose after I released from the military. I had been to college and had extensive electronics education in the Air Force. I worked on computers that controlled the Strategic Air Command defense system and the nuclear arsenal that protected our country. When my time in the service was over, the only job I could find was in a motorcycle shop. “This is only temporary,” I told myself. “Here I am, a highly educated person doing the job of a high school drop out!” I thought I deserved to get a job in the computer field with lots of prestige. I had all this education and I was wasting it by being a “mechanic”. I looked down on my position and my circumstance. From the motorcycle shop I went to a sports car shop. After 3 years at the sports car shop, I went to a Ford dealership. Then one day I realized that I was making far more money as a mechanic than I ever could have as an engineer. Not only that, but I found myself now looking down on the “engineers” who made some of these stupid designs that I had to fix. Even though I had originally disliked being a mechanic, I found it to be an excellent job, which was always in high demand. I found I could not be unemployed longer than 15 minutes. Being a mechanic also enabled me to help many people in need.  I now realized that my life would be a lot more enjoyable if I accepted my “humble” job instead of thinking it was beneath me. I had let my bad attitude about my position in life rob me of my joy.

                Being humble and accepting that to which we are called is part of finding our destiny. We must be willing to accept the fact that we may spend our entire life being a “mechanic”, “clerk”, “house wife”, “factory worker”, “teacher”, or what ever. We do not know what God will make of our lives if we will just cooperate with what He has prepared for us. Pride sets in and says, “Is this all there is to life? A career at the donut shop! I am worth more than that!” Humble beginnings can have great endings by accepting and working with what we have, not what we think we deserve.

Examining your potential

                Let’s get down to making some concrete decisions about our destiny. Our basic skills and talents can be a large determining factor for what we shall become. We need to make an honest evaluation of our potential or our lack there of to determine our direction. When we are honest with ourselves, it makes the whole process a lot easier. Don’t fall into the trap of saying “I’m just no good” or some other form of self-deprivation or overstatement. Or it is just as bad to become overly impressed with our abilities.

                Here are a few examples of examining our potential. If you are 5’ 1” tall, you may not be called to play professional basketball. If you are tone deaf (musically challenged) you may not be called to be a choir director. Our physical factors are good guidelines for discovering who we are to be. “You can’t put in what God’s left out”. So lets not waste time trying to do things that we were not physically able to do. Don’t waste time wishing that we were made different or being envious of what someone else’s gifts and abilities. But instead let’s play the cards dealt us and make the best of what we have been given. When God crated us, He gave us all of the physical traits and talents we need to live a full and happy life. Ultimately, physical limitations do not determine our happiness or success but they do give us good direction on what God has called us to do.

Next we need to examine our likes and dislikes. This may seem overly simplistic, but quite often what we like or dislike can give us good direction. “Well, I like to watch football and eat, what destiny is there in that?” It is not so much what we do as it is why we do it. If a person likes football or sports in general, they usually enjoy the competition, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat. This is a person who doesn’t just enjoy a game but is called to be involved in real life struggles. This person is a true competitor who thrills to see others overcome insurmountable odds. To come to the aid those who are down trodden and help them become victorious. To pick up the “football” of destiny and run it in for a touch down. Football is a lot like war, and life is the biggest war any of us will face. That person who likes to watch football is called to help others with encouragement against the struggle of life.

                Our destiny is not always something real mysterious or far away. It is as close as our heart beat. Our destiny is located right in our heart. It is expressed through our heart’s desires, the things we like or dislike. This may seem too simple but it is true. God has placed in everyone’s heart a desire to find their destiny. But how can we trust our heart? In order to trust our heart, we must first establish the spiritual principles of faith, knowledge, wisdom, honor and integrity. When we have established the principles of faith, knowledge, wisdom, honor and integrity, our heart’s desire (likes and dislikes) will direct us toward our destiny. A properly prepared heart will always make the correct choice. But without faith, knowledge, wisdom, honor and integrity, our heart will have perverted desires and lead us in wrong ways.

                 How is it that our heart can lead us? An example would be when someone wants to get married. “Should I marry this person or that person? How do we know who is the all-important Mr. /Mrs. Right?” After all, finding the right person can be an important part of our destiny. (It can also be an important part to not be married also) Here is a list of things we look at when choosing a mate: looks, height, weight, personality, race, and hair, sense of humor, class, education, talent, money, parents, ethnicity, popularity or compatibility. In your heart you will know which of these things are the most important to you. Personal taste can be essential in some categories when it comes to finding a mate. A person with an IQ of 160 may not want a mate with an IQ of 85. It may work but it will have some major challenges. The first thing I remember about my wife is her haunting blue eyes and long curly hair. These physical features are not the only thing I was looking for in a women but they certainly caught my interest. These may have just been some of my personal preferences in my heart but these preferences helped directed me to my perfect mate.

These things can be important but they are not necessarily the most important things when looking for a mate. Here are the most important things to look for in a mate: love, friendship, integrity and honor. Which person we choose to marry is not nearly as important as the values they have in their heart. Love without honor and integrity is not enough by itself. It is no good to marry someone who is going to run around on you. And no matter how perfect your chosen mate is for you, it will not work if you don’t have honor and integrity within yourself also.

                Bottom line, if you want a good mate and a good marriage, you must become a good mate by working on your own honor and integrity. What good is it going to do to meet Mr. Right if you are not ready with these spiritual qualities? This is part of spiritual preparation that we all have to do if we want to be ready when the time comes. If you or your chosen mate have problems with honor or integrity (being deceptive, for example), don’t even think about getting married. A marriage that is only as strong as it’s spiritual foundation. If that foundation is built on deception and mistrust, the marriage will be a nightmare. A wedding ring doesn’t change anything, a marriage is only as strong as it’s spiritual foundations.

                The key to all destiny is our spiritual preparation. Preparation of the heart is the biggest part of finding our destiny. It is our responsibility to prepare ourselves so when God brings our opportunities, which He surely will, we will be ready. There are times and seasons to everyone’s life, and when time and chance meets our preparation, then things start to happen. Then we will automatically know and fulfill our destiny when our heart is right. If our heart is not properly prepared, we can end up with disastrous results

Multiple Destinies

                We also need to realize that most of us have multiple destinies. I am a son, a brother, a husband, a father, and a friend. I have also been a student, a salesman, a mechanic, businessman, a musician, an athlete and a pastor. We may have one big destiny but don’t let worrying about it get in the way of our day-to-day activity. It is by fulfilling of the day-to-day parts of our destiny that prepares us for the bigger things. The greatest people, who have done some of the most extraordinary things, have been just ordinary people who were simply prepared when opportunity came. .

                                “I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is the bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to the men of ability: for time and chance overtake them all.”[7] This basically means that what ever we were destine for will happen. It is just a matter of whether or not we are ready for it when it gets here.

                Luck is when preparation meets circumstance. I once had a chance to learn to fly an airplane and go on missionary trips. The airplane, books, and instructor were all provided free of charge. All I had to do was pay for the gas I used while learning to fly. But this happened when I was first married and I didn’t have even enough money even afford the gas. The chance came and I wasn’t prepared financially. The opportunity passed and I never did get my pilot’s license. The first part of preparing for our future is to prepare our heart. Let us build knowledge, wisdom, honor and integrity into everything we do. Then let our hearts be filled with love and compassion. From there, all of life begins.

Summation

                That brings us back to the question, “what is my destiny?” Let us again ask the three questions, “Who am I? What am I doing here? And where am I going?” First of all, “who are you?” You are a creation of God with a specific purpose in life. You are unique and no one can replace you. You are the embodiment of total potential, ready to overcome and be victorious. You were created to be satisfied and fulfilled. You were not created for misery and failure. God created us, thus we are somebody. “God don’t make junk”[8]

                “What am I doing here?” We are here to wage war, the war of life. We are in a life and death struggle to find and fulfill our destiny. We are here to use the raw materials that God has placed in us and around us. We are here to fill our lives with all the knowledge and wisdom available to us. We are to develop an attitude of integrity and honor along with our wisdom and knowledge. We are to overcome the obstacles that are place before us through faith. We are to be of service to those in need and to love one another. We are all in this together. If we fail to fulfill our destiny because we give up, everyone loses out on our special contributions to life.

                “Where am I going?” We are going to fulfill our destiny, our call from God. There is nothing on this earth that can stop us but ourselves. Once our heart is fully prepared, we will do all the right things. “If God is for us, who can be against us?”[9] Victory is ours!

[2] Edmund Burke, attributed

[3] Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Inaugural Address, March 4 1933

[4] Proverbs 22:3

[5] Romans 1:17

[6] Proverbs 29:25

[7] Ecclesiastics 9:11

[8] Slogan on a T-shirt

[9] Romans 8:31

                Over the years I have seen many people with great talents and skills, good education and resources, family and friends, whose lives seemed to amount to nothing. They seemed to have everything going for them and they should have been destine for greatness. Instead they ended up unhappy and unfulfilled. Meanwhile others who seemed so mediocre, plain, ungifted, dull, and unimaginative have become extremely successful individuals. They have happy marriages, good families, money, and power, everything it seems the talented and gifted people should have acquired. Why does this happen? Why do bad things happen to good people? Do we have a specific destiny and purpose? If so, how do we achieve it? What are the keys to life? The answers to these and other questions are the things will we be addressing in this book.

Life and Destiny

                “What is the meaning of Life, what is life’s purpose?” People have always known that there more to life than mere survival and have gone in search of that meaning. Philosophers have been trying to answer this question for thousands of years with theories such as personal and group accomplishment or religious experiences or even spacemen. Some claimed to have found the answers, while others rejected their ideas and have continued searching. Many end up attempting to find purpose by attaining wealth, power, and pleasure. Others have found satisfaction in self-denial and misery. Some seek after intellectual and political pursuits. How do we know who has the correct answer to life’s meaning? This will require making judgments on what is right and wrong. Which in turn always leads to the controversy of whose values of right and wrongs are we going to use in making these judgments?

                There are many great theories that may sound great and majestic on paper but only by examining the results of these theories can it be determined if there is any validity for these ideas. If the theory stands the test of time and trial, then it can be trusted. Remember, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”[1] Nothing should be taken on face value but must be tried and examined for both short and long term effects. If the theories are true, then its virtue will be evident in an analysis of the results. If the theory was wrong, we will see the tragedy of its mistakes. No matter how good and wonderful things sound, if they don’t work, they are useless and should be rejected. Don’t be caught in the trap of trying to revive failed and dead ideas. (One definition of insanity is to try the same thing over and over, expecting different results) There will be examples of various theories and philosophies through out this book, which we can observe and make judgments as to their validity.

                The true purpose of life has to be universal, meaning it is applicable anytime, anywhere, in any circumstance and for anyone. Thus, if it does not work all of the time, it is not true purpose but a selective purpose for certain situations. Let’s start with one of the more common views of life, which is “acquire all you can”.  In the American culture, this seems to be the very popular view of life. We educate ourselves and work long hours to attain wealth. Even the poor in America are wealthy by standards in many other countries. But this material view of life is not universal. In many other countries, the purpose of life may be to just survive one more day. This idea of life’s purpose being solely for the acquisition of things doesn’t work for those in poorer places. Then “getting all you can” cannot be a universal philosophy because it does not work in all places and situations. Neither is it universal that everyone should be in poverty or live communally or ignore technological advances or trying to live in the past. It also is not realistic to believe that all people will have the same outcome in their endeavors. Our family situations are all different, health is different, intelligence is different, governments are different, and desires in life are different. We could go on and on about all the things that make us all different, but what can we conclude from these facts? Physical circumstances are never universal and physical results are never the same. Therefore physical things cannot be used as a basis in making decisions for the universal purpose of life.

                As we examine, we will find there is only one thing that is always universal to all cultures and economic levels. It is the spiritual nature of man. Because the spiritual nature of man is the only universal element, then the spiritual nature is where we will find true purpose. So what then is universal to all men’s spirit, regardless of age, wealth, intelligence, health, family, and government, etch? It is the way the human spirit responds to love and challenge. It is from this basis that all mankind attains purpose and meaning.

                Having a purpose is what gives life its value and meaning. Let’s compare life to money. In order for money to have value, it must be spent. If you had all of the money in the world and there were not stores in which to spend it, then what good would the money be? It would have no value unless it can be exchanged in some way. It is the same with life. Life would have no value unless it could be exchanged or spent for some purpose. Every person on the face of the earth has the same amount of time each day, how we choose to spend our time is how we are choosing to spend our lives. By examining how we spend our time, we can determine what we consider truly valuable. So as we proceed, try interchanging the word “time” for “life”. Because your “time” is your “life”. It can sometimes be very surprising what we consider worthy of our time and existence on this earth.

                Some spend their lives for their jobs, others spend their lives for their family, and some spend their lives for their country. Others may spend their lives for drugs and alcohol or some other foolishness. Each of us spends our lives for something. We must decide what is worthy of our existence on earth. We usually sell our time for money, which we call our job, because we believe the money is worth a piece of our life. Yes, we may need money to live but it should not be our only focus. “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”[2] This then brings up a pivotal point, how much is your life worth? Some think it is worth an infinite amount, others don’t think it is worth much at all. But your life is only worth the value you place on it.

                There is a story of a woman who went to this doctor, who used some special cream to treat an eye problem the woman had. The cream caused the woman to go blind. She sued the doctor and won one million dollars. She would never be able to see again but she had one million dollars.[3] Given the chance, would you exchange your eyesight for one million dollars? (This is a test) Of course not. Would you take one million dollars to have your legs removed?  Would you take a million dollars to let someone do a lobotomy on you? Would you take a million dollars to allow someone to kill you? These all may seem like stupid questions but the object is to know that you are worth something. By just taking this little quiz, you have placed a value on your life of several million dollars!

                We must consider ourselves to have value, in order for our purpose will have value. If we do not consider ourselves to have value, then we cheapen not only our life but also the lives of all who come in contact with us. In other words, if we place a low value on our own life, how can we place high value on the lives of others? Let’s compare our lives to money again, because most people can understand money and its value. It is easy to spend $1, we don’t think much about it. We give away pennies and consider them pretty well worthless. But we find it hard to part with $100 bill. We use it very carefully, not wanting to see it wasted. The $1 bill and $100 bill are made of the same exact paper and ink. The difference is how those who exchange them perceive their value. We perceive the $100 bill is worth more than the $1 and treat it with honor and care. It is the same way we will treat our lives. If we think we are not worth much, we will exchange our lives for next to nothing. But if we feel we are valuable, we are careful how we use our lives and our time. We are careful not to waste our time doing useless and destructive things. We can be either value ourselves as a $1 bill or a $100 bill. It is up to us to place value on ourselves, not the government or some elite institution or the opinions of others. The value we place on ourselves will help us determine the correct way to spend our lives. Everyone has value and everyone is important in the big scheme of things. We need to be careful not to sell ourselves for naught instead for fulfilling our life’s calling!

                Even then, our value is not so much set by what we do or what we say but by who we are. Who we are comes from our character and attitude of heart. Both successful people and those who fail have the same amount of hands, fingers and toes (most of the time).  The difference between the world’s most successful person and the world’s greatest failure is their attitude of heart and character. So it is our attitude and character that will lead to our success and will doom us to failure.

You are unique

                Every person is unique. We all look different, some short, some tall, some fat, some thin, even identical twins are unique. These various characteristics are in our genetic makeup and we may not be able to easily change these characteristics. But the issue is what to do with the characteristics with which we were born. Some characteristics we like and some characteristics we don’t like, some are changeable and some are not.

                We can be frustrated to no end when trying to change things over which we have no control. When I was a child, everyone made fun of me because I was so tall and skinny. I never played sports because I was too weak. I would wish so hard that I wasn’t thin. I disliked this attribute about myself and would do anything I could to change it. I would eat everything I could but to no avail. I would ask my overweight friends how they gained weight. One rather large boy told me he would sprinkle salt on the back of his hand and lick it off. So I started to sprinkle salt on the back of my hand and lick it off. Needless to say, I didn’t gain any weight. I found there was no way I was going to put on weight because that was a personal trait that I couldn’t change.

                We many times approach our problems in life the same way. We don’t like something about ourselves and try to change it. These “bad traits” can cause us a great deal of pain when we suffer rejection or failure. We often do foolish things that don’t really work to try to resolve these dilemmas. But it can be these very “problems” that lead us into our destiny in later years. The real answer is that we need to accept who we are and do the best we can with what we have. (Now that I am older, I like my personal trait of being thin, because I can eat anything and never gain an ounce. All of those who made fun of me years ago now wish they were me!) We never know what the future holds or how circumstances might change. Many times the very thing that causes us pain and rejection can become the greatest blessing of our lives. We must be patient and accept the things we can’t change, saving our energy and time for the things we can change.

                When I was a 17, I keep hearing about this really fantastic girl from all my friends and they would go on and on about how wonderful she was. After a period of time, I finally got my chance to meet this nearly legendary girl. When I finally got to meet her, there was a crowd of boys standing around her, so much so, I couldn’t see her. I made my way through the crowd to meet person of such fame. To my shock, she had frizzy hair, a large hooknose, and buckteeth, wire rim glasses, and no build at all. She was plain and ugly! I turned to the friend and said, “you have to be kidding, this girl looks terrible, a real geek!”

                He said, “Just talk to her”. I finally got my chance to talk with her and within 10 minutes, I was in love! This geeky girl had made up for her lack of beauty by developing one of the most charming personalities I have ever come across in my entire life! She could have been bitter about the seeming curse of her bad looks, instead she developed that which she did have control over, her personality. A few years later, she filled out and became an extremely beautiful woman and even won a beauty contest. But most of her beauty came from inside and it eventually showed on the outside. If she had been prettier, she may not have developed such a great personality. She turned her apparent curse into a real and permanent blessing!

                Everyone is gifted with all of the intelligence, skill, and physical attributes needed to have a happy and productive life. But we sometimes tempted to say, “If I were only smarter I could get ahead in life”. “If I were only richer I could do something important”. “If I were only a better looking I could get a better spouse”. “If I were of a different race I wouldn’t get discriminated against”. “If I were younger/older I could do what I really want to do”. None of these reasons or any other reasons will keep anyone from finding or achieving happiness. Blaming natural circumstances for problems will not make life better. Taking our perceived problems and making them into excuses never helped anyone fulfill their destiny.

                We need to accept who we are and how God made us complete with all of our imperfections. Being upset with our circumstances or ourselves or with God will never change our problem. The answer is to face our problems and take action. Instead of looking at these things as imperfections or obstacles, look at them as opportunities for personal growth. There is no problem we will face in life that cannot be overcome. Things may not turn out quite the way we want but there is no situation can be overcome. The only thing we have to fear is giving up before the fight is over.

                Almost all successful people have had to overcome major obstacles in their lives at one point or another. Thomas Edison was sent home from the first grade because he was unable to learn. Franklin Delano Roosevelt was told no man in a wheel chair could be elected to any public office much less be president. Beethoven was deaf when he wrote his greatest works. Many of the world’s greatest athletes had to overcome all types of major physical obstacles to become the worlds best.

                 Obstacles can’t stop us unless we let them. If anything, they can catapult us even farther toward our destiny. Sometimes they redirect us in our course of life. Obstacles are overcome by hard work, tenacity and wisdom. These trials are what make us strong and increase our faith. The greater the obstacle, the greater a person becomes when they conquer it. If a person doesn’t have obstacles in their life, don’t expect them to go very far or have much purpose. Yet it is interesting how we are always trying to eliminate life’s problems and avoid difficulties when these are the very things that we need. The human spirit needs challenge to live. Without challenge, life quickly becomes very dull and pointless. Without great challenges, there are no great victories. Without the ability to fail, we can never taste success.

                It is those seemly bad circumstances can bring out the best in us. There was a girl who was born into poverty on a small farm in Ohio in 1860.  Her family was so poor; she had to learn to hunt by age 6 just to put food on the table. But she soon discovered that she always hit her target first shot, even when it was moving. Her poverty caused her to develop her skill with a gun and eventually caused her to become the greatest shot who ever lived. Her name was Annie Oakley.

                Neither poverty, nor wealth, health, sex, race, nor any circumstance can stop us from fulfilling our destiny but physical circumstances can be important in giving us direction. Even the time in which we were born is specific to us. If Annie Oakley had been born 100 years earlier, she would not have developed her skill because the guns were not technologically advanced enough to show off her talents. If she had been born 100 years later, she may not have had to hunt to feed her family because she would have had a food stamp program to feed her. (Necessity is the mother of invention) We have to accept we were born in the correct time and in the correct place and for a specific purpose. Our starting point is not nearly as important as our finishing point. (Yet we seem to all focus on our starting point)

                Our unique skills and talents are developed through trail and tribulation. There are thousands of geniuses living in poverty and failure because they couldn’t make it past some obstacle in their life. (Usually laziness and complacency) Because these geniuses have failed, people of mediocre talent and skill have taken their place. This is often because the mediocre person knows that things are not going to be handed to him easily. They appreciate what they have and work hard to show their appreciation. This is often how so many seeming “idiots” get into positions of power and the “gifted” are working under them. Advancement in the world usually has more to do with consistency and tenacity than intelligence and skill. Remember, the difference between an over comer and a failure is that an over comer isn’t always smart enough to know when it is time to quit.

                Now we know that intelligence and skill may not be the determining factor that makes us a successful person. But we find that it is using what we do have to the best of our ability is what makes us successful. Our attitude about life and ourselves makes the difference. And our attitude is developed from our life’s philosophy.

Life Philosophies

The life philosophy that we follow determines how we are going to spend our lives and ultimately what we become. We may claim philosophies of high moral character but is it evident from our life style? Examining what we do tells us a lot about our real outlook on life. Unfortunately, many live their lives in such a way that their entire philosophy can be reduced to a bumper stick slogan.

                                                                “He who dies with the most toys wins!”[4]

                The problem here is that “He” is still dead and is unable to enjoy all of his “toys.” He simply leaves everything to someone else. Those who receive the remnants of someone else’s life often fail appreciate what they have gotten or the effort that went into acquiring the “toys”. Yet we spend our lives accumulating wealth and position but for what purpose? I am not saying that the accumulation of wealth is bad, but if wealth is a person’s only objective in life, indeed they are truly poor.

                “The man, who dies rich, dies disgraced”[5] Wealth and power are only a means to an end, but never an end in itself. Wealthy people are necessary for any society to advance and prosper and should not be resented. The purpose of their wealth to provide capital, create jobs and opportunity for others in the course of doing business. But if the accumulation of wealth is just for one’s own personal pride and pleasure, then the purpose of wealth has truly been missed. Why end up dead with the most toys and an empty life?

                                                                “Life’s a bitch, and then you die”

                What a negative attitude of life! Yes, life can be hard but it doesn’t have to be all bad. Frequently, a person’s biggest problems are ones that stem from their own bad attitudes. This negative philosophy is one of mere survival, just barely making it. Nothing is expected to get better, just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. But negative attitudes never lead to victory. A better and more positive philosophy would be: “tough times don’t last, tough people do”[6]. Both sayings can be from the same circumstances but with different attitudes, one negative and the other positive. But the positive attitude says that you can overcome any bad thing that happens. Life is worth living and you will succeed and be victorious, no matter what.

                It is not the purpose of life to just victimized by our problems. Complainers never achieve anything constructive. It like those who complain about the government yet don’t vote. The key is to take positive action with each situation. True victory only comes by finding the good instead the bad in every situation and every person with which we have to deal.

                Everything we do affects those around us, for better and for worse. Negative attitudes are contagious just as positive attitudes are contagious. It is our choice to which attitude we will follow. If we choose that which is right and succeed, others will succeed along with us. When we are victorious, those around us will also become victorious. This is true fulfillment of purpose.

“Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!”

                This is an attitude of hopelessness. It basically says that you need to get all you can now because there is no future. Never mind the consequences of what we do today, let someone else pick up the pieces. If it feels good, do it! Who cares what damage we do to ourselves or others, just give me what I want now. This is a life based on feelings instead of principle. Such is the attitude of the alcoholic, drug addict, a violent person, an adulterer or anyone consumed by their own desires. They do not have a long-term purpose or goal. They do not care for anyone but themselves. It is basically an attitude of selfishness based on feelings and emotions.

                Emotions and feelings are destructive masters when they cause us neglect what we know to be good and right. They can cause us to act impulsively. Always be leery of someone who relies on feelings more than thinking, they often bring trouble with them. Our emotions are an important part of happy life, they are great followers but they need to be controlled. Overcoming our emotions and feelings can be one of life’s major battles that require strategy, determination and discipline. We need to think about the long-term effects of our actions, not just our instant gratification.

“Honesty is the best policy”

                This is not a real flashy or funny slogan but it is true. Some may say that on their income they can’t afford the best and thus they try to gain by dishonest means. It has also been said that being honest is a lot like being pregnant. Either you are or you aren’t. If we are truly honest, then honesty will permeate everything we do. “He who is faithful in a little thing will be faithful in much” Whenever there is one aspect of our lives that permeates all we do, it is part of our “life Foundation”. These foundations of life are the basis of our attitudes and character and ultimately will determine what type of a person we are. If you are dissatisfied with the type of person you are, then it is time to check your foundation. But the question is what type of foundation is best to have and how do we do it?

Life foundations

                Our life has to have a foundation of principles and the values in which we believe and trust. When we say, “honesty is the best policy”, are we always diligent to be honest in our everyday dealings? Are we willing to do what is right when we can make more profit by being just a little dishonest? Are we willing to do the best job we can when a sloppy job will just get us by? How we conduct ourselves in daily living gives us a clear picture of what we truly believe. But are our beliefs proper and right? For without proper principles, we will never have stability in ourselves or anything we do.

                Let us build a proper foundation. There are four foundation “stones” that are necessary to accomplish this. These foundation “stones” are Knowledge, Wisdom, Integrity and Honor. Without these four foundation “stones”, we can never find fulfillment, contentment, or satisfaction. The parent-child relationship is a good example of how to plant proper foundations “stones”. Just as we would plant these foundations in our children, we can plant them in ourselves also.

                What should we as parents do to raise our children properly? We provide the basic necessities of life such as food, shelter, and clothing. But children do not live by bread alone but need parental guidance, parental love, family security. These are the spiritual necessities of life. None of us would deny our children food and let them starve but we can let our children starve spiritually if we do not feed them proper values. It is our responsibility to provide spiritual and moral guidance. Just as we would protect our children from strangers and dangerous situations, so must we protect them from destructive ideas and attitudes? Once our children have become fully-grown spiritually, then they will be strong enough to withstand the trials of life and be an overcomer. In the same way we must spiritually feed ourselves on constructive values and shun things that would destroy our lives. We must give ourselves time to grow spiritually also and become mature before trying to conquer the world.

                Education is the first foundations stone we provide for our children, not just the formal classroom education but also an education on how to live life. We show them how to be responsible and productive by providing for our family physically and spiritually. We show them how to love, be kind and merciful, thus we are teaching by example. We must become what we wish our children to become. If we want our children to be dependable, we must be dependable. If we want them to be honest, we must be honest. If we want them to be intelligent, we must be intelligent. They learn their basic attitudes and morals from watching us, thus they become like us. (Children usually do as we do, not as we say) In spite what many experts may say, there is no one better qualified to teach your children than you. But what shall we teach them? (Remember, children still have free will and may reject the good example you have given)

                We all need a well-rounded education. This is why we send our children to school for 12 or more years. We hope our children have good teachers and a good classroom environment. We can also take time to teach our children by reading to them, taking them interesting places, going beyond the normal paths of general education. Everyone should have a specialty area in which they are interested. Hobbies, music, sports, poetry, cooking, and such make for a well rounded person. This is whether a person is young or old. When we become too old to learn, we are the same as dead. This has nothing to do with age. Some stop learning by age 16 and others are still learning at age 90. Education is something we should never neglect. It doesn’t have to be formal education but we need things to stimulate our minds, just as we need exercise to stimulate our muscles. The mind needs to be worked if it is to stay sharp and reliable. The more a person learns, the easier it is to think and the more of a background they have to answer life’s questions.

                But what about a person who is born into a poor third work country where there is no education system. There still things to be learned and if a person is diligent with what they have, other doors of education will open for them. Yes, it is harder gain an education but the harder the trial, the greater the person who overcomes. The education needs to be relative to the society where the person lives. In some places, just knowing how to grow crops properly is considered as important as being a doctor or a scientist. The object is to learn all we can and use what we know for the benefit of everyone. As we expand our education, new opportunities will open before us.

                My father had a very limited education and I was far beyond him in my knowledge but he was still able to teach me some of the most valuable things I know. The things he taught me were from his life experiences have been priceless to me over the years. Upon looking at my father’s life, the most valuable thing he gave me was wisdom. The few possessions I received after his death are now gone. The memories of ours lives together may soon be forgotten. The one thing of true value that he gave me, which I can pass on to my children, is wisdom, the wisdom of life. It is the authentic family heirloom and one of the most valuable things we will ever possess.

                Wisdom is a most unique component of life. People seem to think with all of our new technology and science that wisdom has become outdated. True wisdom never ages or needs updating. Wisdom shows us what to do in every situation, giving guidance, giving us confidence, and letting us have authority over life. Wisdom can be thought of as common sense but there is nothing common about wisdom. It is a difficult thing to find. It has been compared to silver and gold in value, to be searched for as treasure. Many great men and women are known not so much for what they did but for the wisdom they possessed. Wisdom shows itself in many ways, it is up to us to seek it and find it, whether in books, stories or in real life examples we see everyday.

                Wisdom and knowledge go hand in hand and are dependent on one another. Knowledge is the substance we use and wisdom is the action we take. We can educate our children with all kinds of knowledge, send them to college, and they still won’t know how to live life if we don’t give them wisdom. But if we teach our children all types of wisdom and fail to give them knowledge, they are still at a disadvantage. It would be like trying to fix a car; we may have tools (knowledge), but lack the skill to fix it (wisdom). Or we may have the skill (wisdom) but not have the correct tools (knowledge). Either way, we need the correct tools with the correct skill to get the job done. The one advantage of wisdom over knowledge, is a man of wisdom can eventually find knowledge, where as a man of knowledge may not necessarily be able to find wisdom.

                Two other major forces that need to be taught with wisdom and knowledge are honor and integrity. Integrity is what gives everything in life its value. If we have no integrity, how can anything we do be trusted? Without integrity, our friends, our family and our life become superficial. Without integrity there is no trust. Just as a building is only as strong material from which it is made, so a person’s life is only as good as the quality of their integrity. What is integrity? Saying what we mean, and doing what we say, without deception or ulterior motives, regardless of the cost or consequences. To have integrity is to be a totally trustworthy person, always doing what is right, fair and honest. A simpler way to state it is “Doing what is right when no one is looking”[7]

                Our integrity makes us steadfast and faithful. It is personal discipline that makes us consistent in being who we are. Moral standards need to be founded in integrity or they become hypocrisy. There are times when we may fail to be the person of integrity we want to be. There will be times when we need mercy and forgiveness. This will bring us to the humbling realization that we are imperfect just as all those around us are imperfect. If those around us are imperfect as well as ourselves, how should we deal with one another? This brings us to Honor.

                Honor is one of the most difficult qualities to define. Honor is a way of telling a person you really care and value them for what they are, not just what they do. Honor is giving them preference, commitment, trust, as well as giving others mercy when they do not measure up to our standards. Honor is what makes any relationship a joyous experience and greases the wheels of society, making life go smoothly. Honor is an extension of integrity, for without integrity there is no honor. Even honor among thieves requires a certain amount of integrity between the thieves.

                Our honor is also meaningless when we fail to honor others, especially those who deserve our respect. If we cannot honor others then we should not expect be honored. We would then be considered arrogant. No one really respects an arrogant person; instead the arrogant are despised and ridiculed for their foolish behavior. Honoring others means accepting others as they are, for everyone is born with a certain amount of honor, but woe be unto anyone who looses it! When we loose honor or integrity in the eyes of others, it is near impossible to get it back. This is why we must do everything we can to hold on to our honor and integrity and not let it be corrupted by a lack of moral judgment or by attacks from others. We need to guard it as if our very lives depended on it. Without honor and integrity, we have no real life. These are two of the most valuable things we will ever possess. The quality of our honor and integrity determines the quality of our character. A person of high moral character is a wellspring of life for all of those around them. But those without character are basically worthless, and a drain on all who come in contact with them.

                Honor, integrity and wisdom are what separate us from machines. Computers can have knowledge. They can repeat knowledge verbatim but they have no wisdom. They cannot reason and make moral judgments. They have no honor. They cannot love. They have integrity in the fact that they do not lie, but it is different type of integrity than moral integrity, which involves a choice to be honest. Honor, integrity and wisdom are virtues of life that make us who we are.

                The poor as well as the rich have equal access to these foundation stones of life. They will work anytime, anywhere, for anyone. They are eternal; they never wear out, go obsolete, or need updating. These foundation stones are dependable and true. We need to not only teach them to our children but also live them. When we do “practice what we preach”, we not only set a good example for our family but for all of those around. These principles are what make life worth living.

                From our four building blocks, knowledge, wisdom, integrity and honor, we form our attitudes and philosophies of life. From these things we will know how to respond to life’s dilemmas, plan strategies while standing firm in the storms around us. They give us strength as well as the ability to reach out and strengthen others. They give us the power to overcome problems and master our lives. Only by implementing them will we be ready to discover our true destiny. Without these four foundation stones, we will never fulfill any of our purposes, no matter who we are.

Basic Steps reviewed

                The true purpose of life has to be universal, working anyone, anytime, anywhere. We find that physical circumstance is always changing so true purpose is found in the spiritual nature of man.

                We are unique individuals created for special purpose. It is our uniqueness that prepares us for our unique destiny. We need to accept who we are and overcome our deficiencies while developing proper attitudes. By examining our use of time, we can determine what is important to us and what is not. It is up to us to take action when we find an area in our life that needs changed.

                The proper approach to our purpose is found in the four spiritual building blocks of life. They are knowledge, wisdom, integrity and honor. Using these building blocks, we form our life’s attitude and philosophy. Once we have implemented them in our lives, we will be ready to discover our destiny.

[2] Mark 8:36-37

[3] Zig Zigler motivational teaching

[4] Slogan on a bumpersticker

[5] Andrew Carnage

[6] Robert Schuller

[7] J.C. Watts, Oklahoma Congressmen

A Thermometer tests the temperature of the atmosphere and declares what it is. The thermometer doesn’t do anything about the temperature; they just declare it whether good or bad. Some declare it quietly while others declare it very loudly…The object is nothing is done about the situation. This fits about 95% of the people in the world.

Then there are the Thermostat people. They test the temperature of the atmosphere and don’t like what they see. They want change! They are willing to do what ever it takes to get the job done. This is less than 5% of the people in the world. They are the true leaders.

In order to be a thermostat, a person needs to be hooked into power in order to be effective. It is the conviction that things need to change that gives them this power. We must believe in what we know is right and willing to do what ever it takes to get the job done. They also preserve until the job is done. Our founding fathers pledged their fortunes, lives and sacred honor to start this country. They all paid dearly for their pledge which ultimately gave us the privilege that we enjoy. We also must be willing to pay the cost to make the change, whether great or small. There is always a cost for change.

Effort must be used to bring about change and this leads to turbulence. A body at rest tends to stay at rest unless an outside force changes it. This requires effort and there will be resistance! People don’t like change from the status quo. But there needs to be change!

Just wanting to do good for others is not enough to warrant change. Change for change sake is often destructive. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good intentions are not enough. Change must be guided with understanding and purpose. Gasoline ignited out in an open container is destructive. Put that gasoline into an engine (guided by the discipline of the engineering of the engine), it can accomplish constructive goals

Have clear defined goals, everyone involved knows your direction. There also needs to be a finish line so that when the job is done, it is done!